That is what you need to do and you are right that you have a lot to live for Brandy. I really do not know what I could say except that there is hope that you still could live a long life. For example a co-worker of mine's wife has stage 4 colon cancer and has successfully been fighting it for the last eight years.
But as you know once it is stage four that means the only thing that doctors can do is to keep the cancer at bay. It is possible that the new trial for the PARP inhibitor could be just what you need. Stay positive and and don't go on line so much especially if it makes you feel that way.
You can stay here and get uplifting messages of hope and make some new friends here. I live in Seattle and my wife had treatment at Swedish Cancer Institute. Again, you do have lots to live for and I wish you all the best.
Dave