Yoga-an Integral Part of Sari's 9 year survival

I just spent two days in San Diego with my father celebrating my nine year battle and, thus far, victory over cancer.  I can't imagine deeply reflecting on this bittersweet anniversary with anyone else and am grateful we were both able to spend the time together.  At dinner last night, in discussing how my life has changed, I was describing my intense passion for yoga and with my Dad's encouragement, decided to share my experience with you.  This is a survivor story.

After a cancer diagnosis at age 36, lumpectomy, bilateral mastectomies, finding out I was BRCA positive, undergoing intense chemotherapy, having a total hysterectomy and not being able to have my own children ... I found myself spiritually, emotionally and physically in a black hole.  Although I still have my moments in these dark depths, I have found a tremendous sense of peace in yoga. 

I was concerned at first about doing yoga because the skin on my chest and the underlying  muscles had been severely compromised.  I didn't want more injury and didn't want to compromise the surgery, but also felt literally uncomfortable in my skin (chest) and weak overall.  Surviving cancer gave me not only the permission, but also the mandate, to take much better care of my physical health and since I wasn't a gym person and didn't  want to bounce around on the tennis court, I thought yoga would make sense.

I called a couple of local studios, tried a few classes and found my niche. I took a beginners series, started with level one classes and my love affair with yoga began.   The more I practiced, the more I felt the benefits .. and the better I felt, the more I went.  At  this point, although I continue to modify poses when necessary, I am on my mat 5 to 6 days a week and am actually amazed with how flexible and strong I have become - especially in light of how obliterated and depleted I felt by cancer.  

Yoga is so many things for me.  It's a slowing down of the body and mind. It's a time for me to forget about what happened that day, what might happen in the future and truly listen, and respond, to what my body needs.  It allows me to push myself to my physical edge mindfully and tenderly ... and to take rest when necessary.  It affords me a little over an hour where I feel both beautiful and strong... my insecurities about my reconstruction are quieted, my cancer demons are asleep and I am totally focused on breathing.  It also allows me to feel the deep, delicious sensations of stretch, length and twist in my spine and limbs and has kept my chest, back and hips as limber as they can be. I have cried (unintentionally) several times on my mat which has simply served as a much needed release of stress, tension and emotional pain.

Yoga detoxifies and helps me feel centered. It is a quiet, personal, graceful, and sacred space to take care of myself, stay strong (both physically and mentally) and love myself.   It is a form of exercise that is relaxing, challenging, spiritually fulfilling, peaceful, and healing all at the same time. The fact that I've shed some weight and am physically fit (for the first time in my adult life) is GRAVY. I can't imagine my life without yoga and don't leave home without my mat. If you have any questions, feel free to get in touch and if you get into yoga because of my story, I would love to hear about it!

My dad and I recognize that yoga may not help everyone but I wanted to share my story. I am sending all here my heartfelt best wishes and prayers that you find some peace.

With love,

Sari