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Terrified and trying to be strong

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merry89 View Drop Down
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    Posted: Aug 25 2020 at 2:50pm
Hi all -- 5 weeks after an abnormal mammogram, my mother (who is in her mid-60s) was diagnosed today with triple negative bc.  All we know is her tumor is less than 2cm and she'll have surgery on Sept 11 to remove the tumor and test her lymph nodes.  I am TERRIFIED after what I have read about TNBC and not at all handling the fact that we have to wait so long to understand if its spread, grade of her tumor, etc.  My mom is my best friend and in the middle of the already terrible year that is 2020, I'm not handling this diagnosis well.  I'm trying to be strong and supportive for her, but on the inside I am really worried about what this means for her and the likelihood that she'll be here to watch my toddlers grow up.  I guess I am looking for encouragement and insight from this community......
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Penny View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Penny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 25 2020 at 5:16pm
Hi Merry 89,

You are at the worst part of the journey.  Please know that.  Great news that the tumor is small.  Please try not to read all the details on TNBC and stay on this site as the members have been through it personally and have many, many wonderful survival stories to share with you.  The waiting is the hardest.  The pace picks up after surgery when you know thing for sure (size, path report, lymph involvement, grade).  Then you get to plan for the attack.  I didn't think I would get through all the worry and anxiety and learned through my own journey that step by step planning is the best.  Don't "pre-worry" about something that may not come true.  Worry and anxiety is the minds attempt to control things.  Let that go.  I will let others chime in on this but just know that there is absolutely a path through this storm.  We are all here to support you.  

Penny  
DX IDC, TNBC 12/7/16 (age 55), Stage 1a Grade 2, .6cm, 0/1 nodes, Lumpectomy & node dissection 12/22/16, BRCA1&2 negative 1/23/17 Chemo TC. Chemo completed 3/28/17. 30 RADs completed 6/6/17.

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merry89 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote merry89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 25 2020 at 8:02pm
This is all very helpful and I know it's good advice.  I am grateful that the tumor is so small, but of course also aware that isn't the only thing that determines the outcome or what we're dealing with. I still feel like it's more questions then answers and at every turn, the news just keeps getting worse (doesn't help that with COVID I could not go with her and I feel like there are so many questions I would have asked the doctor!).  I made the mistake of trying to Google and that was not at all helpful.  So I'll do some work on this board to learn more and I appreciate having a community to help me sort out some things.  I believe the plan is lumpectomy and lymph node, then radiation and chemo (versus mastectomy) but I am guessing part of that is determined by the lymph node tests.  My father said the doctor didn't seem overly concerned with spread -- he's out of town next week which is why the surgery is two weeks away.  I just want it OUT of her body!
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Penny View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Penny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 25 2020 at 9:02pm
Your feelings are totally normal.  Also great news that the doctor didn't seem overly concerned.  Take these wins!  ~Penny 
DX IDC, TNBC 12/7/16 (age 55), Stage 1a Grade 2, .6cm, 0/1 nodes, Lumpectomy & node dissection 12/22/16, BRCA1&2 negative 1/23/17 Chemo TC. Chemo completed 3/28/17. 30 RADs completed 6/6/17.

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