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Annie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Annie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 12 2016 at 5:26pm



Hi Romnessprite! Isn't that something!!! It is so amazing the miracles that are brought by prayer! I do believe God shows us his presence in our life daily. If we just look back we can see his hand and it is indeed Faith inspiring.

                    Yesterday I had an experience that was beautiful on a much lighter note. I was at my oncology follow up. When it finished the person I was driving an hour to the hospital with decided to stop at McDonalds for Coffee instead of Tim Horton's. She also was driving a man with a tumor on his eye. Well I am a tea drinker and may have coffee once or twice a year. I was craving coffee for about 3 weeks for some reason and so when she said we will all have coffee I thought, okay. When I received it, it was so good, cream and sugar and nice and hot. It really hit the spot and I thought Wow Lord, You knew I wanted Coffee and you found a way to see that I had it. It really made me feel that God is truly in Control of so much more than we can ever imagine, even the little things!!!

                    Take care and God Bless.

                    Love, Annie

Annie TNBC Stage IIA Gr 3 1cm lesion 2/5 lymph nodes+ lumpectomy,FEC & D 30Rads finished(08/2009) BRCA- Chronic Cellulitis due to Radiation-- L.Mastectomy Jan 2012
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Minigerkin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 12 2016 at 6:32pm
Romnessprite, 
I am so glad to hear you are doing well!  I am a firm believer in prayer and I'm so happy that the power of prayer worked for you! I just finished my second week of radiation and am so drained.  While radiation is a tad easier on the body than chemo, it drains my energy.

I hope you continue to heal and you'll remain in my prayers!

Minigerkin
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Thank you again. You are in my prayers as well. Fatigue has been hard during this whole journey. God makes us slow down sometimes. Maybe it is to give us time to watch Him work. To reveal to us just how mighty and Amazing He is. Maybe we are priviledged in this situation because God is revealing His Glory to us in a way we have not seen before. He certainly has showed me how much people care about me. He has revealed His love through all the hugs and rides to dr visits,cards,and flowers.
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Jacklin View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jacklin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 12 2016 at 9:16pm
Praiseworthy-news romnessprite, I am so happy for you and thankful as well. Miracle continue to happen all around us, every day, we don't always see them. Much strength for each day, know you are lifted up in prayer regularly. 
Peace,
Jacklin
Dx: Nov. 27/15, TNBC, left breast & lymph, BRCA -; Chemo: Dec 4/15 - Mar 4/16; 4 DD A/C, 3 DD Taxol; BMX/ALND: April 26/16; Stage 3C; Radiation: June 10-July 15/16; 1 cycle Xeloda: Aug 15 - 28/16
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Lillie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 21 2016 at 8:07pm
Hello TN Friends,
Please keep my friend Miriam in your prayers.  Miriam is the wife of a man who gets chemo every week at the clinic where I work.   A few weeks ago the man revealed to us that Miriam had found a breast lump.  She went to a teaching hospital in a neighboring town for treatment.  She did have cancer.  She had a lumpectomy and 6 nodes removed.  I kept asking the man what her receptors were, but he didn't know.  Last Friday Miriam and her husband came by the clinic where I work to tell me that she was cancer free and didn't require any chemo, just a little radiation.  Miriam wanted me to look at her biopsy report; the doctor that had been treating her told her that everything was negative and she didn't have anything to worry about.  When I read her report all 3 receptors were negative.  She actually had stage 2 triple negative breast cancer.  I felt sick inside but I hugged her neck and wished her and her husband a great week-end.  I then went to the oncologists office and asked him if he knew anything about Miriam's situation.  He said they came by to see him and were excited about the good news.  He said that the doctor who did her surgery had released her to him and he had an appointment to see her this morning.  I told him that I saw her pathology report and my interpretation was triple negative cancer.  This morning when I got to work, the first person I saw was Miriam and her husband.  She was in a state of shock because she had already seen the oncologist and he broke the news to her.  Later when I saw the oncologist he told me he was glad I was there today because he knew Miriam would need someone to talk to.  I was really angry with her doctor in the other town.  She had been wined, dined and given gifts at the other facility and sent to us to get the bad news.  My oncologist told me this afternoon that doctors can get away with avoiding the truth when they know another doctor will be getting involved. 
Just wanted to share this, as it broke my heart when she told me that her 2 adult children and 3 grandchildren had already been told that she was cancer free and there was nothing to worry about.  Has anyone else had an experience like this?  Please keep Miriam in your prayers.  Her husband is living with cancer, but in a very productive way, Thank God.  Now this.
 
God Bless,
Lillie
 
Dx 6/06 age 65,IDC-TNBC
Stage IIb,Gr3,2cm,BRCA-
6/06 L/Mast/w/SNB,1of3 Nodes+
6/06 Axl. 9 nodes-
8/8 thru 11/15 Chemo (Clin-Trial) DD A/Cx4 -- DD taxol+gemzar x4
No Rads.
No RECON - 11/2018-12 yrs NED
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Jacklin View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jacklin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 21 2016 at 8:33pm
Dearest Lillie,
Of course I will keep Miriam and her husband in my prayers, as well as her 'new' medical team. How awful that the 1st doctors weren't clear with her and allowed her to believe this lie that everything was negative and that she was cancer-free. Awful, awful, just awful and abhorrent. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you when you read her biopsy report, knowing so much more. How awful for you too when you read this. What a blessing that you were there today.

I have not had any experience like that, but wanted you to know that I will certainly lift up this couple before our Awesome and wonderful God.

Peace,
Jacklin
Dx: Nov. 27/15, TNBC, left breast & lymph, BRCA -; Chemo: Dec 4/15 - Mar 4/16; 4 DD A/C, 3 DD Taxol; BMX/ALND: April 26/16; Stage 3C; Radiation: June 10-July 15/16; 1 cycle Xeloda: Aug 15 - 28/16
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Annie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Annie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 21 2016 at 8:34pm



Hello Lillie, What an upsetting thing to happen. It makes me wonder if the initial Dr. realized what Negative stood for in this case. Is it possible he took it for negative meaning no cancer. Did he not understand TNBC or have any experience with it? Was the pathology report vague in any way? Did he miss information somehow?
               I know when the Dr. told me I was Her2- I said oh good...he said not good...in this case negative is bad. Just wondering because it just seems like such a huge mistake to make.
                 I hope that the Dr. who is responsible for this will be informed of his negligence and the trauma it caused.
                 Miriam was BLESSED to have YOU there Lillie. That was certainly the hand of God in this.

                 Keeping all of this in prayer. God Bless.

                 Love, Annie



                 
Annie TNBC Stage IIA Gr 3 1cm lesion 2/5 lymph nodes+ lumpectomy,FEC & D 30Rads finished(08/2009) BRCA- Chronic Cellulitis due to Radiation-- L.Mastectomy Jan 2012
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Yes iam praying too. I was confused by the word negative when i had my biopsy. My doctor read the pathology report to me and she said that it was very confusing to people. But assured me that when i saw my oncologist the first time that he would be able to answer my questions. She said she was unfamiliar with triple negative breast cancer. She had no idea about treatment or prognosis. She said because they are not involved with anything after the patient is referred to the oncologist that they simply dont know.
    I guess that is one problem now that Drs. All have so many specialties. I feel bad for miriam and will certainly pray.
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Lillie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lillie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 22 2016 at 10:09am
Dear Jacklin, Annie and romnessprite1,
 
Thanks for your prayers.  I do believe that in this case the surgeon and team gave her false hope way beyond what should have been.  I certainly realize now and also when I was diagnosed how vulnerable we are.  We hang onto words like 'negative' as though they are good words, when in reality they are not.  Miriam's pathology was very specific and easy to read.  ER negative, PR negative, Her-2 negative.  3.2cm tumor removed.  Miriam told me yesterday that the oncologist explained to her how aggressive triple negative is and that, although it was not in the lymph nodes, it could travel through the vascular system and 'seeds set up shop' at other locations in her body.  She was devastated by the news. 
Thank all of you for your prayers and I will keep you posted.
 
God Bless,
Lillie
Dx 6/06 age 65,IDC-TNBC
Stage IIb,Gr3,2cm,BRCA-
6/06 L/Mast/w/SNB,1of3 Nodes+
6/06 Axl. 9 nodes-
8/8 thru 11/15 Chemo (Clin-Trial) DD A/Cx4 -- DD taxol+gemzar x4
No Rads.
No RECON - 11/2018-12 yrs NED
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Wishing you all a Blessed Easter. Went to a sunrise service in the 100 year old cemetary at our church. Pastor pointed out they are not dead they only sleep and await the coming of our lord Jesus. We took communion and i said a special thank you for God sparoing my life. After surgery when my blood pressure was so low 74/56. It was because of adrenals shutting down. Recently i was told that could have happened to me when i was home alone. It could have killed me then. So its a miracle it happened in the hospital and that they figured out what it was. So i have a lot to be thankful for
. yesterday my husband and i went to a memmorial for a lady who faught breast cancer for 11 years. That really hit home. He spared me this time because He isnt finished with me yet. Im thankful when He is finished with me i will not die but only sleep or wait unill the second coming.
He will also provide for whoever is left behind. My husband seems so helpless about some things like doing laundry and cooking. He has had to do more lately around the house. I have spoiled him i guess. But now God has provided a potential friend in the man who lost his wife. We had lost contact with them untill the memmorial yesterday.
The worst part of looking at death for me is thinking of him being left alone. I have to trust if that happens God will help him. My children are grown up but i want to be there when they marry and have kids. I didnt have parents to talk to while i was raising them and i madee it but again God provides.
Glad itsnot my time yet. But also glad He will be here with them when it is.
Happy Easter everyone
Ginie
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Minigerkin View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Minigerkin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 27 2016 at 5:30pm
Happy Easter to all!

We have a lot to be thankful for this Easter. He has risen and is watching over us each day. Thanks be to God!  

Lillie-I will keep your friend in my prayers.  She deserves better treatment and I thankful she is with a great oncologist now.

Ginie-You've got such a great attitude and you are very optimistic.  I know you will pull through this!

God Bless!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lillie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 27 2016 at 6:02pm
Jesus is Risen.... He's ALIVE....
 
Happy Easter to ALL of my TNBC site sisters.  
 
Love and God Bless,
Lillie
Dx 6/06 age 65,IDC-TNBC
Stage IIb,Gr3,2cm,BRCA-
6/06 L/Mast/w/SNB,1of3 Nodes+
6/06 Axl. 9 nodes-
8/8 thru 11/15 Chemo (Clin-Trial) DD A/Cx4 -- DD taxol+gemzar x4
No Rads.
No RECON - 11/2018-12 yrs NED
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Jacklin View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jacklin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2016 at 8:03pm
Has anyone read "The Faith to Free-Fall" by Dr. Heidi Petak and if so, did you find comfort when you read this book? I am looking for some spiritual support to prepare myself for my upcoming BMX. I find I'm struggling with the upcoming surgery and am looking for find something to help me through this time. I appreciate any suggestions.
Dx: Nov. 27/15, TNBC, left breast & lymph, BRCA -; Chemo: Dec 4/15 - Mar 4/16; 4 DD A/C, 3 DD Taxol; BMX/ALND: April 26/16; Stage 3C; Radiation: June 10-July 15/16; 1 cycle Xeloda: Aug 15 - 28/16
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Lillie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 28 2016 at 9:45pm
Dear Jacklin,
I have not read "The Faith to Free-Fall".  I will share with you a real experience I had about 3 weeks ago.  A lady who had finished her chemo, and was trying to come to grips with what surgery she would have, came to me at the oncology clinic where I work part time.  She asked me if I would be willing to show her my mastectomy scar.  She had been on-line looking at pictures and was in a real quandary.  A double mastectomy had been recommended, but she wasn't sure she could do it.  She and I went into the bathroom, there at work, and I took off my top and bra so she could see what my scar looks like.  My scar is not pretty and we both acknowledged that fact.  I showed her my special bra and my prosthesis.  I explained how my prosthesis is weighted to help match the breast I still have.  I told her that her health insurance would pay for the bras and prosthesis. 
A few days later I saw her at the clinic getting her port flushed and she told me that her surgery would be the next day.  A double mastectomy.  She thanked me for sharing myself in such a personal way, but it had helped her realize that she could do it.
Do you know of someone you can talk with who has been through the surgery?  Some may say that what I did was not spiritual, but I beg to differ.  Cancer surgery is not a root canal.  "If you have done it for the least of these, you have done it unto me". 
I hope you can come to a peace of mind about the surgery.  It may not be instantaneous, but doing what you need to do for your health sake will bring you some consolation about the surgery.
I will be praying for an uncomplicated surgery and fast healing.
 
Love and God Bless,
Lillie
Dx 6/06 age 65,IDC-TNBC
Stage IIb,Gr3,2cm,BRCA-
6/06 L/Mast/w/SNB,1of3 Nodes+
6/06 Axl. 9 nodes-
8/8 thru 11/15 Chemo (Clin-Trial) DD A/Cx4 -- DD taxol+gemzar x4
No Rads.
No RECON - 11/2018-12 yrs NED
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 29 2016 at 3:38am
Hi Jacklin. I really struggled with this surgery too. I have had several other major surgeries but this one really bothered me. I talked to my pastor about my fear and it really helped. Look back through some of the posts on this discussion. It helped just to talk about the fear. The more people I shared with the better I felt.
    I was feeling guilty about my fear too. That made it so much worse. Pastor said that its a normal emmotion to have. Even Jesus was greatly distressed when praying the night before He was crucified.
Remember you are not alone even when under anesthesia picure jesus right there watching everything going on in there. He has it all under controll.
I will be thinking about you and praying for you too.
It is such a relief to know that the tumor is gone. I didnt realise how much that bugged me. But now that its over and gone its like a big weight is lifted. You are so close to the end of this journey. The rest of it is easy compared to what you have already been through.
    There really has not been much pain or discomfort either. Today i fonally got my energy back and feel good again.
Sending you cyber hugs. You can do this! You will come out on the other side of it just fine.you will be fine.
Ginie
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jacklin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 29 2016 at 9:31am
Dear Lillie and Ginie, thank you for your comforting words. I do believe we all struggle with UMX/BMX and that things will come right at the right time, His time. I was just being very honest about my struggles right now. Lots of tears and sadness but I understand that is part of the process. Lillie, you continue to be a blessing to so many, including me this morning, thank you for being here and especially for reaching out to me. Ginny, I thank you for sharing so openly with me, I did meet with our pastor a few weeks ago, perhaps it's time to do so again. I read Heidi Petak's "Free Fall" blog, how parachuting out of an airplane is like "free-fall(ing) into the arms of Jesus - all I an do is surrender my body and soul to God" at operation time. That image was very comforting; that's why I was asking if anyone had read her devotional.

It seems like my diagnosis has caused a lot of people to back away from me, so right now I am feeling very alone in a human sense. I am going to phone the Canadian Cancer Society today to see if I can be matched with someone who's also undergone a UMX/BMX, I know I need more support. I"m not afraid of pain as I am constantly in pain so I do look forward to the operation to eliminate that pain, it's the emotional pain right now. I know He is holding me safely in His hands and that all of this happens with His knowledge. He knew before I was born that this was part of His plan, I just keep on praying that I can be a witness for Him through all of this. I know that He is going to heal me, whether that's here on this earth through surgery and radiation or by taking me home, but I will be healed.

Blessings,
Jackie
Dx: Nov. 27/15, TNBC, left breast & lymph, BRCA -; Chemo: Dec 4/15 - Mar 4/16; 4 DD A/C, 3 DD Taxol; BMX/ALND: April 26/16; Stage 3C; Radiation: June 10-July 15/16; 1 cycle Xeloda: Aug 15 - 28/16
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lillie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 29 2016 at 10:58am
Dear Jackie,
The feeling of being alone is something that I think many of us go through.  At the time of treatment, surgery and all, people, family included, just don't know how to act or what to say.  It is easier for them to keep their distance.  Even after you finish treatment and surgery and begin to try to get back into the loop, people will turn the other way or approach you in a hesitant way.  I discovered that it was because they are afraid to ask, afraid of what your answer will be.  I experienced this so much at church and work. 
 
Remember: God is always with you and we will be too.
 
Love and God Bless,
Lillie
 
So, it takes someone who has been there and done that to be the best Support. 


Edited by Lillie - Mar 29 2016 at 11:00am
Dx 6/06 age 65,IDC-TNBC
Stage IIb,Gr3,2cm,BRCA-
6/06 L/Mast/w/SNB,1of3 Nodes+
6/06 Axl. 9 nodes-
8/8 thru 11/15 Chemo (Clin-Trial) DD A/Cx4 -- DD taxol+gemzar x4
No Rads.
No RECON - 11/2018-12 yrs NED
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 29 2016 at 1:02pm
Jacklin im praying for you daily. I wish i could physically be there to listen and give hugs and tell silly jokes too. Please know that on a spiritual sense we are all right beside you walking together with you.
    Be sure to tell you Dr. You are struggling emmotionall. I started taking some antidepressent and ot really helped me to cope better.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jacklin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 29 2016 at 1:22pm
Dear Lillie and Ginie, 

I so appreciate your support of me here, it's so incredibly encouraging and thank you for the reminder that I am not alone, He is always with me, thankfully. Lillie, thank you for sharing your experiences, makes me feel like what I'm experiencing is 'normal' in this very abnormal time in my life. I cling to the knowledge that He is always with me, in fact, I spend a lot of time during the night in conversation with God because otherwise I couldn't get through all of this. He comforts me while I weep or share my concerns, very gently in the palm of His hand.  And He also send special angels, to hold our hands while we hurt, thank you for being His angels to me, ministering at a time when I really need it. You are so right Lillie, only those who have travelled this road really understand - He even uses our pain(s) to help those who are in need - that's why you are doing such wonderful work every day, ministering to many in the cancer centre there.

Ah yes Ginie, a good joke to make me laugh from the bottom of my belly would be really good right now. I realize that in the last few weeks, I haven't laughed a lot - hmm, that's telling in and of itself. 

Thank you my friends, for being you and for reaching out to me today. Big hug for each of you,

Jackie
Dx: Nov. 27/15, TNBC, left breast & lymph, BRCA -; Chemo: Dec 4/15 - Mar 4/16; 4 DD A/C, 3 DD Taxol; BMX/ALND: April 26/16; Stage 3C; Radiation: June 10-July 15/16; 1 cycle Xeloda: Aug 15 - 28/16
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote snugltz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Mar 29 2016 at 4:17pm
Yes Lillie is a great blessing to all.  And she has gone through soooo much recently.  I agree with Romnesprite.  My oncologist prescribed Xanax.  She gave me about 30 every 3 months.  Not lots. But on those particularly bad days they were of much help.  Also before mammograms and doc appointments getting the results of my blood work.  And she gave me 30 Ambien to help me fall asleep on those nights my mind kept racing, thinking about all of this. 
1 cm, 0/2 neg nodes, lumpectomy 6/16/10, cytoxin/taxotere 4x every three weeks, rad start 11/8 33X
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