Scared and Confused - Birthday present: TNBC

I've been searching everywhere to find a peer to peer group, to maybe find someone who has been diagnosed with my same form of breast cancer as I figure out what treatment path to take.

I was diagnosed with TNBC on September 18th.  I have since been on a whirlwind ride of getting doctors to respond etc.  Here are my details:

I'm 56
BRAC2+ (found out four years ago, no option for surgery, COVID times)
Been doing MRI's every year since
Routine MAMMO and MRI - last year clear, this year 3CM area (not mass) in left breast
I'm Stage II - all CT scans and bonescans show no metastasis
It seems to be contained
I have already requested a double mastectomy flat, no reconstruction
The oncologist hit me with - 5 months of an alphabet soup of chemo and immuotherapy - 12 weeks of once a week and then 2 months of every three weeks, then wait, do the surgery and then possibly more chemo.
I asked them if I could get the surgery first and then the chemo as it seems logical with the side effects that I would be stronger and less likely to get any sort of infection etc before the chemo kills everything in my body and then to do the chemo. 
Well they came back at me with "standard of care" etc.
I asked if this was based on an average of "all" types of TNBC including patients that were opting for a single mastectomy or lumpectomy etc. And they said yes.
I asked what about for someone who wants them gone, and with everything being contained, would it not make sense to do the surgery first and then the chemo four weeks after?  That would still be within the 120 day window of diagnosis to chemo recommendations?
They are continually telling me that this is the standard of treatment.

Is there anyone here that can reach out to me that may have had this exact diagnosis and let me know what you chose and share your story?  I am still so confused and not convinced chemo before is the right thing?

Thank you so much Cookie for your response, quick question...did you get a double mastectomy flat?  Or what kind of surgery did you get with the adjuvant route?