My Ashley Is An Angel
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Category: TNBC Forums
Forum Name: TNBC Tributes
Forum Description: This is a tribute section on our website to honor members
URL: http://forum.tnbcfoundation.org/forum_posts.asp?TID=7877
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Topic: My Ashley Is An Angel
Posted By: Bonnie
Subject: My Ashley Is An Angel
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 6:27am
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Dear Friends: My beautiful, brave, courageous Ashley is now an angel. At 5:15 am Saturday morning, January 29th, Heaven got a lot brighter. She passed with her loving family surrounding her, all telling her how much they love her and how special she is to us. So hard to believe that she is gone, but she fought the good fight. Please continue to pray for our family as we cope with our loss. I walk through our house and it's just so empty. Ashley was a presence her entire life. She had the most beautiful smile and laugh; always joking, right up to the very end. We all miss her so much.
Love,
Bonnie
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Bonnie - Daughter Ashley dx TN 8/09 @ 22; St3, BRCA1/2-; AC&Ixempra done 2/10; mets to lung 3/10; G/C 3/10; PARP 6/10; sternum mets 9/10; NK012 failed; mets to liver, spine, kidney; Avastin/Xeloda
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Replies:
Posted By: 123Donna
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 7:22am
Oh Bonnie, My heart is breaking right now for you and your family. Tears are flowing freely at the loss of this beautiful young woman. No words can offer you comfort right now. Your TNBCF family is here for you. Ashley is an angel in heaven now where she will suffer no more from this terrible disease. May her memories live on with you and your family.
Love and Hugs,
Donna
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DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15
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Posted By: outnumbered
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 7:27am
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I am so sorry for your loss. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
HUGS
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~Sara
DX @ age 40 6/24/08 Stage 1 Grade 3 BRCA1+ 187delAG
BMX (nipple-areola-sparing) 8/5/08
Redo BMX (remove nipple and areola) w/ Lat Flap 7/6/09
BSO 9/3/09
NED since 08/05/2008
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Posted By: TNBC_in_NS
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 8:29am
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Bonnie:
I am speechless right now. It puzzles me how a vibrant young woman can suffer and be gone so soon...Your daughter was such a blessing to you and the family and her strength was a reflection of the love you all have for her. I am so glad you were all there with Ashley...she is forever in your hearts and I feel honoured to be a small part of her life and journey.
A Mother's love is so deep and the love that our heavenly Father has for us is so much more. So know Ashley is in good hands now. My sincere sorrow for your loss.
Hugs,
Helen in NS
PS: Bonnie a friend sent this site to me and I want to share it with you. Read it when you are ready... Bless you dear Mother from another Mother...
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/theseasonsoflife.htm - http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/theseasonsoflife.htm
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Diag@57TNBC04/092.5cm Lquad 05/09 TCx4Radsx30CT03/01/10 FU03/31/10ClearBRCA- 01/2011 RTNBC BMX 06/14/2011~2013 clear
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Posted By: Genie
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 8:47am
Bonnie,
There are not words adequate enough to express the sorrow you are experiencing in the loss of your precious daughter. My heart & prayers go out to you & your family. May God give you comfort & peace.
Hugs,
Genie
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DX 3/10/08 at age 67, IDC. Stage 1, Grade 3, 1.5 cm.
KI-67 99% at MX . Bilateral mastectomy 4/1/08 Node-, BRCA 1/2-,BARD1+, TX:Cytoxan/Taxotere x4,3 in family with TNBC
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Posted By: SagePatientAdvocates
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 8:48am
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Dear Bonnie,
I can’t find the words to properly say what is in my heart...
Although I never met Ashley I felt that I knew her through you and she was an extraordinary woman.
My prayers continue for you and your family.
If you would like to speak again, please call me...I will call you in about ten days if I don’t hear from you. Please send me an email and let me know that that would be o.k. I don’t want to infringe.
with my love,
Steve
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I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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Posted By: Donna Zukowski
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 9:37am
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Bonnie and family: I cannot imagine how difficult this loss is. Know that heartfelt prayers go out to all of you. luv donna
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Donna, TNBC Dx Mar09,stage 2a,1.7cm 1 pos out of 29, taxolX12,FACX4,segmental mastec&axilla node dissection sept 10/09,Rads start Oct,live in Canada,Tx MDAnderson
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Posted By: TracyAMac
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 9:42am
Dear Bonnie
My heart goes out to you and your family at this time
It is an exceptionally bright and sunny winter day today here in Canada - my sense is that Ashley is shining down on all of us and sending warm love to you and your family.
Tracy in Toronto
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TN&non-TN tumors April/10 Gr3&2;1 metaplastic
Rmast.1/9 nodes w/isolated t.cells
Taxotere&Cytoxan x6
Bone cancer 1980 age17;surgery&chemo AC+Methotrexate
BRCA-ve
On hormone therapy & Metformin Trial
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Posted By: hhhh
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 9:56am
My deepest, deepest condolences for your immense loss Bonnie. I am so sad today.
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Daughter of one of the most amazing women in the world...
she was diagnosed 8/2010, had lumpectomy, TAC X 6, rads.
52 yrs, stage 2A (3cm, no nodes), triple neg, grade 3
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Posted By: sue
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 10:01am
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Bonnie,
So sorry for your loss. I do believe your angel Ashley is glowing brightly above all of us.
Please know you are surrounded by love here and always will be.
My prayers go out to you and your family.
Hugs,
Sue
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Dx 7/10, age 53. TNBC left breast, stage I, grade 3, IDC 0.5 cm, DCI 2.5 cm, 0/8 lymph nodes neg. BRCA-. T/C x4 finished 2/09/11, rads x34 finished 4/21/11.
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Posted By: zoomommy2
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 11:15am
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Bonnie,
I weep as a mother at your loss of your beloved Ashley. I just don't understand how so young a person can have this disease and be gone so quickly despite all the treatment. She was greeted by so many others taken by this disease we all hate so much. Praying that peace and comfort will be yours.
Lee in Denver
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dx6/09,stageII,gr3,(L)mastectomy 7/09,ACx4,Taxolx7,Avastin study,gall bladder surgery 1/10,4/11 Stage 4, mets to lung, 4/11 Started Taxotere and Xeloda, 5/11 Taxotere stopped, off Xeloda
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Posted By: Debris
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 12:11pm
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Dear Bonnie, my tears mingle with yours. I was so sad to read this, but hope you can find comfort that Ashley suffers no more.
May God Bless you and your family, and give you courage and comfort in the time ahead.
Deborah.
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4/12 Xeloda/Tykerb
2 Carboplatin
12/11 Dx IA
9 Gemzar/Taxotere Dx IBC:FEC
5 Ixempra/Sprycel
2 25 Rad
10/10 BRCA1-/2suv
9 NED
6 Stg4 Grd3 many nodes no Sx/Rad. Taxol/Avastin
06/08 Dx DCIS 0/SN Rads/AIs
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Posted By: Kara
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 12:52pm
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Dear Bonnie:
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am sending you and all of Ashley's family and friends tons of positive light and strength through prayer. God Bless, Kara
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dx 5/10 TN, age 56, Stage 2, 3cm tumor, Bi-lateral Mastectomy 6/10,4 Lymph nodes involved,two infections, Taxol/Cytoxin 12 weekly sessons finished chemo 1/19/11.
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Posted By: dmwolf
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 1:34pm
Bonnie,
I am so sad, so very sad and troubled and overwhelmed with the unfairness of your darling Ashley being swept off the planet like this right when her life was just beginning. I can imagine how empty your house must feel without her in it. I can imagine the pain and bewilderment you feel when you imagine your life without her, all the times in the future that she won't be there. The holidays, graduations, wedding, grandchildren - all the things we parents look forward to in our lives with our children. I wish for you the tenderest of love as you grieve. This pain will never go away, nor would you want it to, but it will change with the years. We are here for you now, as we have been all along, and bear witness to what you have endured and will continue to endure.
Much love,
Denise
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DX 2/08@43 stg II IDC; gr2,0 nodes. Neoadj chemo, first ACx2 (fail) then CarboTaxotereX6(better). Lump, Rads done 11/08; Clodronate. False alarm queen: PetCT lung & TM marker. NED. PBM w/recon 9/10.
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Posted By: SagePatientAdvocates
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 1:57pm
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For Bonnie
At times, things happen that make no sense This is one of those times At times, a beautiful young woman is taken from her family This is one of those times I am weeping as a type as I do at times This is one of those times Is this the time for you to be surrounded by love? This is one of those times
will Ashley always be in your heart? yes, always... will you and Ashley always be in ours? yes, always... can you always come here and find love? yes, always... will we always love you? yes, always...
I am a very inept poet, Bonnie...as you know from the past...but my heart is pure in my thoughts today and the love and positive vibrations I am sending you and your loved ones. I can tell you that 46 years after I lost my dear mother, it still hurts...at times with a profoundly difficult intensity but, overwhelmingly, I try to focus on the joys in my life and there are many...but, as Denise wrote beautifully above, I do not want that part of my memory bank erased, even with the loss I still feel. My mother remains present in my life on a daily basis and Ashley will be in yours as well...Please grieve and know it may be a very lengthy process but that is o.k. And please know we are here for you...always...
with my love,
Steve
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I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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Posted By: tnbcsucks
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 2:19pm
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers!
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TNBC DX April, 2010,Lumpectomy May 3.5cm with clear nodes,Stage 2, Grade III Started Chemo on June 7: 4 A/C every other week and then 12 weeks of Taxol. followed by 6 weeks of radiation.
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Posted By: Jwatrlily
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 2:38pm
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Dear Bonnie,
I am so sorry your beautiful Ashley passed from this dreaded illness. My heat goes out to you and your family as does my prayers, for God to give you all strength, peace and a real knowing she is with Him and well and whole again. It is just so tragic for anyone but most of all for someone so young as your beautiful Angel, Ashley. Please know that all of us care and hold you up in love and prayer as you cope with your heartache.
Love,
Juanita
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Diag. June 4, 2010 IDC Stage 1, Grade 3, Node 0/2 TNBC. Lumpectomy 8/9/2010 Started chemo 9/16/2010 AC x 4 every 2 weeks, Taxol x 12 weekly, 33 rads, finished 4/15/11. NED as of Sept 3, 2013
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Posted By: LRM216
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 3:02pm
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Bonnie:
There are just no words. God bless you all. Know that forevermore - the sky above us will now have a bright and beautiful new star shining down upon all of us. May all of the memories you share with Ashley hold you strong and give you peace - until you meet again.
Love,
Linda
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Linda - diagnosed at age 62
Diag 2/23/09 IDC 1.2 cent. IDC right breast,Stage 1, Grade 3,0/1 nodes - Triple Neg
4 DD AC every two weeks, 1 Dd Taxol, then 3 Taxotere every three weeks - rads x 33
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Posted By: Belle_Laide
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 6:14pm
Bonnie, So very, very sorry for your loss. Words fail. It's all so senseless. What shines through is your love and devotion and Ashley's bright spirit and life force. With you, kiddo.
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Did everything right; got screwed anyway. BRCA Negative.
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Posted By: abcmom
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 7:22pm
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Bonnie- So very sorry to hear about Ashley. You are in my prayers and hope you can find some comfort that she is no longer in pain. She in our wonderful heaven and as you said heaven is shining a little brighter! We are here for you.
All my love and prayers,
Keri
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Diag 11/06/09 @ 40; Diag w/ TNBC Stage IIA, Grade 3 12/01/09 Node Neg. Dble MX with Recon 12/09 (twice)
Chemo 1/13/10 Chemo done 4/22/10 More recon surg 07/10, PET/CT Scan clear 07/10 NED 07/11
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Posted By: trip2
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 7:34pm
Bonnie I am so very sorry, my condolences to your family.
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Stage 2 2003
Stage 1 2007
BRCA 1+
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Posted By: overwhelmed
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 9:35pm
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Bonnie,
I am so sorry. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I cannot begin to understand this and cannot begin to imagine the pain your are enduring.
God bless you.
Lori
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DX ILC TNBC 3/10 at 50, Stage IIb; Grade 3; 5.1 to 7 cm,SNB neg;TC-6 rnds, 30 rads, Avastin-18 rnds, BRAC 1&2-
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Posted By: Shelly Rae
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 9:44pm
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Bonnie and family, I am so sad to hear of the loss of your Ashley. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May Ashley rest in peace, cancer free.
Shelly Rae
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4/09 age 47 Stage 3a, Gr 3,1 node micro ACx4 Tx4 Rads x 33, done Dec.1,2009 NED
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Posted By: Kelly WIDIL
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 10:08pm
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My heart breaks for you. My deepest condolences don't seem enough.
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MIL, TNBC Stage 1, Grade 3
TAC 6 x 3,DX 10/10, Dble Mx 11/10, 12/10 reexision to clear margins, 12/10 mass found on ovaries, uterine lining thick 1/11 chemo starts, ooph and or hyst. pending
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Posted By: Kiki
Date Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 11:26pm
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Bonnie,
When I read your post today - I could not stop the tears from falling....and I finally brought myself to posting because I wanted you to know that I have been keeping you and Ashley in my prayers and I mourn your loss even though I never knew Ashley....I was also diagnosed in August 2009 at the age of 32 and have followed this website since the day I found out I was triple negative. My mother stayed with me through my entire 10 month treatment plan and I developed such a close bond with her that i tell everyone that if i had to do it all over again i would just to be blessed with the time i got to bond with my mother. This site has been such a source of love, support and strength for me even though I have never met anyone or posted....I have learned so much and gained so much from everyone. I will continue to pray for strength for you and your family...
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Posted By: mom&grandma
Date Posted: Feb 01 2011 at 3:54am
:(
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Bonnie, mom of Heather, age 32, Dx on 9/1/09 TN IDC Stage 1, 1.4 c, lumpectomy, 10/8/09, DD AC & T, 3/9/10 bilateral mastectomy and immediate reconstruction, BRCA 1/2-
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Posted By: cdenunzio
Date Posted: Feb 01 2011 at 5:59am
Bonnie-I am so sorry to hear this news. I am sure she is in a better place without pain. If you ever need to talk you know how to reach me.
Chris DeNunzio
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Posted By: LauraT
Date Posted: Feb 01 2011 at 11:30am
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Bonnie - I grieve with you and your family. I pray for you all to be comforted as you mourn for Ashley. I also pray that you are able to have the hope of heaven in your hearts as one day you will see her again, fully healed and whole. Our loved ones never leave our hearts and I know she will always and forever be in yours.
Love,
Laura
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DX 10/09 @44, Stage I IDC tnbc, DCIS other side, Neoadjuvant TCx4, Bilateral Mastectomy w/Recon 1/10, 1.2cm 0/7 Nodes, 5/11 Mets to Lungs/Lymph Nodes, Avastin/Taxol, 10/11 Bone Mets, Xgeva
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Posted By: NinaE
Date Posted: Feb 01 2011 at 3:35pm
Bonnie, I'm heartbroken for you and your family. This is so unfair, and I'm so terribly sorry on your behalf. I would guess that you've pictured this moment for many months now, and now that it's here it is both sadder and fuller of memories and love for your beautiful daughter than you could have imagined. I hope that as your grand-daughter grows you'll continue to see Ashley's spirit develop and blossom in her.
I wish you didn't need to have this courage, even as it's been a source of strength for us here. May Ashley's memory be forever a blessing.
Nina
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Stage IV at dx in Dec 09, at age 38. Mets to lung, axillary, IM and mediastinal nodes.
4xAC-->dd Taxol. Dbl mast, 6/10. Radiation, 8/10. NED since June 2010.
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Posted By: harbin
Date Posted: Feb 01 2011 at 11:30pm
Bonnie, I am so so sad that Ashley lost her battle of this terrible disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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4/08 dx IDC,stg2,neg. nodes,4xAC,8xTexol& Avastin,BRCA-
3/10 Recurr Chestwall,surgery
6/10 Lung mets
10/10 Parp
05/11 Surgery on 2 lung nodules
08/11 Parp failed
10/11 Cyberknife 1 lung nodule
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Posted By: EileenF
Date Posted: Feb 02 2011 at 2:01pm
Bonnie I am crying as I write this, heartbroken for all you have gone through Please remember the tremendous love you surrounded Ashley with. I cant think of a better feeling than knowing those I love know I love them and they love me back unconditionally. Focus on the happy times with Ashley and she will live forever in your heart. You and your family remain in my prayers
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7/09:IDC,stg 3,Grade3, pos lymph;chemo ACT;12/09 lumpect n lymp disect;1/10 bilat masect/tis exp; rad cmpltd 4/10; 11/10 stg 4 lungs chest axil mets & parp trial;3/11 IBC diag;
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Posted By: tninalabama
Date Posted: Feb 02 2011 at 8:24pm
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Bonnie,
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Dx 11/07,stII bgr3,1/8+, metaplastic, recurrence 11/09, lymph dis 12/13+ 07/10, rad,x28 9/10,02/11 mets
BRCA neg
5-FMC since 03/12
PET 04/12,no progression
Bone scan clear 06/12
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Posted By: penelope
Date Posted: Feb 07 2011 at 11:13am
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Bonnie;
I have been keeping up with you and Ashley for awhile and have kept you both in my prayers and am sad to hear she is now gone but she is now pain free in a happier place and I will continue to keep your family in my prayers as you cope with her loss.May god bless you all.
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Penny
Dx May 2009
L Mast. May 2009
TNBC...Tumor grade 3
Metastisis Dx Oct.2009
Neck,clavical area and chest
Taxotere/Cytoxin June-Aug.2009
AC Oct.-Dec.2009
Avastin/Abraxain Dec.-March 2010
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Posted By: Susie
Date Posted: Feb 07 2011 at 7:19pm
Bonnie, I am so very sorry for your loss of Ashley. I just can not imagine what you are feeling.I am so very sorry... Comfort and peace I pray for you.. Susie
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dx 10/08,age 56,.75 cm. Stage1 Grade3,lumpectomy,SN neg..,AC 12/08-02/09,35rads,03/09-05/09,BRCA2+(E1415X),06/09,oophorectomy 10/09,
Zometa - IV/mo.,07/09-08/10, lumpectomy #2 10/20/10 NED
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Posted By: Falcon
Date Posted: Feb 16 2011 at 6:50pm
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Bonnie,
I don't know you but I want you to know I care and I will pray that the good Lord will hold you and comfort you as you continue on with your life untill you see your sweet Ashley again and you will I'm a firm believer in a mother's love can never be far from her child.
God please put an end to this terrible tnbc you can and I know you will!! In Jesus name we ask amen.
Hugs,
Susan
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My daughter Jessica
Treated and Healed!!!!!
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Posted By: SagePatientAdvocates
Date Posted: Jun 21 2012 at 7:57pm
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Dear all,
Last night one of my dreams was fulfilled when I met Bonnie for the first time and shared a lovely meal with her.
She is a lovely, lovely woman and I am so glad we finally met.
Bonnie, no one could have done more for your adored Ashley and no one could be a better grandmother than you!
I cherished our friendship, before, but last night really brought things to a new level. Thank you for your graciousness and warmth. It was an evening I shall always remember and I look forward to seeing you again.
My prayers continue and shall always be with you and your family.
warmly,
Steve
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I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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Posted By: 123Donna
Date Posted: Jun 21 2012 at 8:11pm
Oh Steve,
I'm so happy you got to meet Bonnie! May we all be so blessed to meet you one day.
Donna
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DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15
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