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My mom was just diagnosed

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Topic: My mom was just diagnosed
Posted By: barks001
Subject: My mom was just diagnosed
Date Posted: Apr 21 2013 at 4:24pm
My mother is 65 and about one week ago was just diagnosed. I'm 35 and 2 months ago just had our second child. This is devastating to my sisters and I. The only way they found it was because she had a stroke and doing physical exam found an open lesion on left breast and biopsied . The mass is large.. 7 cm. to their knowledge no metastasis . Not sure of lymph node involvement cause she has not had biopsy of nodes yet. To complicate everything she can't lift left arm due to stroke. We go to UNC on Tuesday for more testing and consult. I'm having a tough time with anxiety and depression. I'm scared to death and all I want is reassurance. This is the only place I know to come for support. Any reassuring words.



Replies:
Posted By: 123Donna
Date Posted: Apr 21 2013 at 4:52pm
Barks001,

So sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis and stroke.   Both diagnosis must be devastating for you and your family.  UNC is a great facility.  Wishing your mother the best.

Donna


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DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15



Posted By: Annie
Date Posted: Apr 21 2013 at 6:48pm


    Hello Barks001...I am so sorry to hear about all you are dealing with. Please just try and take one step at a time.   The two fold medical problems you are dealing with are difficult I am sure for all and especially your Mom.   The Dr's will know how to approach all that is happening.   Please take care of yourself too and am glad that you have sisters also that can help share the burden as you have such a young child to look after. Please let us know how things go...In the meantime I will be praying for you and your Mother...God Bless...Love, Annie

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Annie TNBC Stage IIA Gr 3 1cm lesion 2/5 lymph nodes+ lumpectomy,FEC & D 30Rads finished(08/2009) BRCA- Chronic Cellulitis due to Radiation-- L.Mastectomy Jan 2012


Posted By: barks001
Date Posted: Apr 21 2013 at 6:50pm
Mom doesn't seem to talk about it... What should I say to assure her that she can talk to me..? She may just not feel comfortable talking to me but I fear her being anxious, depressed and keeping it inside. Any advice?


Posted By: 123Donna
Date Posted: Apr 21 2013 at 6:53pm
How serious are the side effects from the stroke?  Can she communicate normally?  Maybe just let her know you are there for her and willing to talk and answer any questions she may have.  Tell her you love her and will be by her side through the recovery.

Donna


-------------
DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15



Posted By: barks001
Date Posted: Apr 21 2013 at 10:30pm
She can talk and the only deficit was her left arm use and left leg weak. She knew about the mass but never had it addressed.. I think it was fear but I wish she told someone before all this. I have a mix of emotions now


Posted By: Annie
Date Posted: Apr 22 2013 at 8:13am

   Hi Barks001,   It is VERY good news that your Mother can speak!   Although her left leg is weak, it sounds like she has at least some movement? If this is so, then that is better news also. It sounds like that can be worked with, which is very good!

                  Please do not be overly concerned as oftentimes most people who have suffered a Stroke are depressed to varying degrees. This is physiological in cause as well as emotional due to the trauma of realizing what occured. Please try and accept that for now and as Donna said just knowing she has a loving supportive family that hopefully can be with her as much as possible right now will help ease the depression and help her cope so much better.

                  Thinking about you while you see the Dr. and let us know when you are able how things are going...Love, Annie

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Annie TNBC Stage IIA Gr 3 1cm lesion 2/5 lymph nodes+ lumpectomy,FEC & D 30Rads finished(08/2009) BRCA- Chronic Cellulitis due to Radiation-- L.Mastectomy Jan 2012



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