Hi Aeryno,
Those are all good questions, but the answers can vary from person to person. From my personal experience, I chose to have a lumpectomy, and received chemo first to shrink the tumor (the original size of the tumor was 3.5 cm). I had Carboplatin and Gemzar. I did NOT loose any hair on this chemo plan (a little thinning) - the main side effect I experienced was fatigue. Side effects vary depending on the specific chemo and overall health of the individual (and age). I was 46 at the time I began chemo, and in excellent health and very fit. I did not have any nausea or vomiting, but these symptoms can be controlled by drugs.
Chemo is cumulative - meaning toward the end cycles the fatigue gets worse, and other symptoms can get worse. Overall though, I did manage pretty well. After 4 cycles of this chemo, it was about a month later that I had the lumpectomy surgery. Then about one month later I finished the last 2 rounds of chemo. My doctors wanted to give my body a break so they broke up the chemo into 2 phases for me.
I can't answer the mast/reconstruction questions since I didn't go that route, but I'm certain others will address that.
By the way, I too am in CA - So Cal to be exact.
I began treatment in the beginning of 2010, so I am now into my 3 year post cancer.
I wish you the best of luck with your journey!
Lisa