How interestingly you talk about all this purnamadah. You are right in that people seem to assume that, because you have small breasts, you'd naturally want them to be bigger.
I don't want bigger breasts because I think that they are more aging, especially as it seems that your breasts get bigger anyway as you age. I have also wondered whether, because my breasts are small, I was able to have a smaller operation and maybe even less dose of radio. I haven't looked up any scientific papers on this, I just think that, with small breasts, it is easier to isolate the cancer and deal with it. But all that might be wishful thinking on my part and could be complete bunkum!
I am active and I like doing things at speed, I wouldn't like to bounce around and have to spend a fortune on bras with good support. Since my surgery, I find myself buying pretty, lacy but comfortable bras. Strange, because I used to like my bras plain and utilitarian. I think because my hair is now thin and the joy of being alive is such that I like girly and pretty.....really weird.
Hey, "disfigured" is not such a bad word. I told the surgeon I felt "mutilated" which is a far worse word but I was just so frightened and so numb and bereft of hope and expectation. Plus, I HATED the tattoos I had for them to target the tumour with the xrays. Now I don't notice the dots most of the time but I still remember the pain when they did the one over my sternum.
I still don't like the scars that show above my bras unless I wear a really high cut one. OTOH, as I am mostly in work-out gear, my chest is never exposed to public scrutiny!!
Your surgeon is right about radiation being "unpredictable". It really seems to have "cooked" my breast and the orange-peel skin lasted nearly 3 years. Also took nearly that long for the colour of my skin to nearly match the other side.
However, I must emphasise that I do not regret any of my treatment. So far, it's done what it's meant to do, got rid of the cancer for now and no remission to date.
I understand about how difficult you must find having to make these choices. I didn't make any choices, too shocked and disbelieving to have chosen for myself. Just glad that the medical team did for me what they in their collective wisdom thought was best.