Telling your loved ones you have Cancer?

My daughters were 9 & 13 when I was dx. My mother had just passed away from ovarian 2 weeks prior. I had always been very upfront about Grandma's cancer. She had it 3 1/2 years. My daughters were used to seeing bald. My older daughter had just done a report for science on Ovarian cancer. If you can believe she needed permission from the principle because it being women's reproductive organs ! When I told my daughters the first words out of the oldest's mouth were " if you are going to have cancer this is a better type to have !" Whew, fortunately she really did her homework on that report. I worked thru treatment, keeping their schedule pretty much the same as always. Being a single parent I pretty much do everything. Occasionally someone else drove the older daughter to an event or something. Once I had to pick her up after I finished working. I felt really bad. Not enough energy to get out of the car to go get her but I couldn't wait in the car either. Fortunately she came out fairly soon. I just told her to hurry that I could barely make it. It would take all my focus to get us home. She offered to drive ! At 13, in a big city, there wasn't a chance !They both preferred my most "normal" looking wig, so that is what I wore when with them. The youngest didn't care if I went bald at home when her friends were over. All this was 8 years ago, My youngest now 18 recently commended me on how I handled things during that time period. She says it really didn't have much of an impact and she now realizes how much I did and went through and how normal I kept things. She recently did a paper for school about that time period. She wouldn't talk about it much but said I could read the paper. I had forgotten about it. I'll ask her tonight. Hmmm. I was always very honest.

I have been BRCA tested. Thank you.Probably in 2003. I had to meet with geneticist several X as well as a therapist before they would do the testing. My insurance paid for all. I always assumed that this was the procedure for everyone but have gathered most just do the blood test.  I was negative. I realize that is a good thing but I wanted a reason for my cancer. I came to realize luck of the draw. My mother was only 64 when she passed away and I was 44 when dx. We have been the only ones in the family to have these cancers and at younger ages. I think I'll read your book recommendation regardless.

I had to tell my 5-6 kids in Kindergarten last year that I had cancer and would be gone the last two months to do treatment.  When I came back with a hat this fall, all kids knew.  Here's how I told them.  I said I had a back sickness under my arm and on my chest wall.  That I was going to take a really strong medicine to make it all go away.  That medicine was so strong that my hair would fall out and I wouldn't feel so good.  But that soon I would feel better and the hair would grow back.  That's all I needed to say and all kids were great.