God, not listening? |
Post Reply 
|
| Author | |
scared 
Senior Member 
Joined: Nov 09 2009 Location: Seattle Status: Offline Points: 224 |
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote Reply
 Topic: God, not listening?Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 10:49am |
|
I grew up with a strong belief in a personal relationship with God. Now, I am sure a lot of us here have also. Can you remember praying so hard for the tests to come back negative? I prayed, our friends prayed, and I continue to pray but it seems like God allows cancer to happen to good people and it is NOT right.
From babies, to teens that are fighting cancer and to us going through cancer and for those that have lost ones to cancer many, many prayers were offered to spare us. And now my faith is shot, I am numb from this terrible disease and what it has done to my wife. If you ask me am I angry at God, well yes I am. I now pray that he finds a cure for cancer and nobody else will need to suffer from it again. Have you been angry too, or am I just going crazy?
|
|
 |
|
|
Carol (Tenn)
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 06 2009 Location: Paris,Tennessee Status: Offline Points: 2707 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 11:34am |
|
Dear Scared,
Wish I had a first name...
I am a Christian and the first thing I asked God was Why Me. I've had a pretty miserable life starting back in childhood, molestation, desertion by both parents, foster homes, my child died, just seems one thing after another. So my question, Why Me????
I struggled with this question for weeks following diagnosis and came up with answer Why Not Me!!
I don't know what He has planned for me. I don't know why He chose me to have this affliction. But I do one thing...HE KNOWS....So many thing good things have happened to me since this all started.
The relationship with my daughter though always good but seemed to be a arm length. We are now so close it is wonderful. I am so blessed.
A member of my church received the same diagnosis after mine. She has problems anyway so I took her on. I help her all I can with doc visits, onc, surgery etc. Without me she would have no one. I am blessed.
I am trying to start a support group for TNBC and am trying to get the word out about it. Another blessing.
God does answer prayers. always. Maybe not the way we want them answered or when we want them answered (yesterday), but always.
I had brain surgery because they thought I had mets to my brain...we prayed, my church prayed, people all over the country prayed.....guess what....NOT CANCER! Truely blessed.
I was given the oppoutunity to witness time and time again. Hopefully I helped someone. Just one would be a blessing.
I don't know if I've helped. I pray that I have.
Please join us on Spiritual Support. The admin. of this site were kind enough to give us a forum.
My prayers are with you and your brave wife. If I can help in any way please send me a private message and will give you my email.
Much Love, and many prayers,
Carol
|
|
|
St 2 Gr 3, A/C/T, DD
Radiation x35 Rec chest wall 07/09 Radiation x28 NED 10/24/11 NED 10/5/12 NED 03/15/13 |
|
|
|
|
SusanE1104
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 24 2009 Status: Offline Points: 436 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 4:59pm |
|
Dear husband, I'm not a religious person, so I can't talk to you about God, but I'm sure others will offer you support in that area. I can tell you how I have handled the '"why me" question. My life hasn't been terribly easy. Compared with some people I know, it's been pretty hard. But...compared with others I've known or heard about, it's been a walk in the park. I think we cry over the hard parts and if we're wise, we rejoice and celebrate the good parts. It helps me to look at it like that. I guess what I'm saying is, count your blessings. I know it's difficult at times, and I'm sure it helped you to vent your feelings here today. Glad we could be here to listen. Your wife is lucky to have a husband who cares about her enough to join this forum. I'm sure you are a great comfort to her. I tell my husband he is my best medicine. I hope you will feel better soon, and I wish your wife the best.Susan
|
|
|
Susan 62 1987 Stage 1 1/09 Stage IV bilat. mast. liver mets BRCA1+ Taxol & Avastin
8/09 NED 12/09 liver mets Taxol/Avastin 4/10 liver mets 11/22 Parp Car/gem parp failed 2/2011 Ixempra |
|
|
|
|
babyblueca2000
Newbie 
Joined: Oct 09 2008 Location: Ontario, Canada Status: Offline Points: 35 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 6:11pm |
|
I have never asked "Why me" as someone else said "why not me". I have found my faith in God through this terrible disease. It is my belief that God does not give us these diseases nor does he take them away. He cannot change the bad things in our life, but he can give us the strength to see us through whatever life gives us.
When I am having trouble dealing with anything in my life I pray to God to give me strength
and I seem to make it through the tough things going on. I just started praying to God in the past year and it seems to help me. Like I said thats just my belief.
|
|
|
Tammy
TNBC 41 yrs old 2.5 cm tumor (IDC) Mastectomy 08 Sept 08 Nodes: 3/15 involved Chem 6 rds of FEC every 3 weeks 16 rds of Rad Completed treatment 16 Apr 09 |
|
|
|
|
dmwolf
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 22 2009 Location: Berkeley, CA Status: Offline Points: 3619 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 7:32pm |
|
If you're going to start asking that about yourself, what happens when we ask about war, poverty, holocausts, genocide, and the suffering of innocent children everywhere? Personally, I don't believe in any kind of personal God, but if I did, just a walk downtown would throw me, a glance at the headlines in the papers, what I have seen personally or heard of. Suffering in the world is overwhelming. But then again, so is the joy and the wonder of miraculous life and beauty and the incredible accident of intelligence and creativity. Maybe the trick is not to believe in a personal God capable of divine intervention that would materially alleviate suffering. Otherwise how could it make sense? A God of malice or indifference? Who could get interested in that, or devoted?
Time for a nap and some Godless (and therefore lonely) dreams. Love, Denise (who believes in human love and generosity as a form of divinity) |
|
|
DX 2/08@43 stg II IDC; gr2,0 nodes. Neoadj chemo, first ACx2 (fail) then CarboTaxotereX6(better). Lump, Rads done 11/08; Clodronate. False alarm queen: PetCT lung & TM marker. NED. PBM w/recon 9/10.
|
|
|
|
|
mefowler
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 29 2009 Location: Topeka, Kansas Status: Offline Points: 115 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 8:49pm |
|
I agree with Denise. I don't know whether there is a God or not, and it doesn't really matter to me. All I can do is live my life according to my principles and hope that if there is a God, that he will accept that. But I have never understood why people feel that God owes them anything for believing he exists. Why did I get breast cancer? I don't know, but I can tell you that at least I have been able to have children and see them grow up, unlike many others who are not so lucky. I could whine and moan and say that, after spending seven years going back to school and getting training, it was totally unfair that I got cancer a year later. But why is that any more unfair than a two-year-old getting retinoblastoma or a five-year-old getting leukemia, or a 16-year-old getting ovarian cancer, or a child starving in a third world country, or another being physically or sexually or emotionally abused. When my kids used to complain that something wasn't fair, I would say, "Life isn't fair." Would I prefer not to have breast cancer? Of course! Now that I have it, however, it does me no good to complain, except to make everyone around me miserable (which I must admit I do from time to time, because I am no saint.) On the other hand, I doubt that there is a parent among us who would not rather get breast cancer ourselves than have our daughter get it. As someone much wiser than me once wrote, I could never believe in a God who rewards people with health and wealth if they believe in him. What about the people who are suffering all around the world? Have they done something to deserve their suffering then? I can't believe that. And we didn't do anything to deserve cancer either. Like s***, cancer happens. It just seems to me that we are arrogant to think that it is unfair that bad things happen to us. The first Buddhist principle is that life is suffering. Why do we think we should be exceptions to the rule?Everyone goes through some self-pity after their diagnosis, but if you get stuck in it, you accomplish nothing. You just do what you can to beat this thing and keep walking until you get through it, however that happens.
Sorry about the soapbox. And I don't mean to be unkind or disrespectful. But most of us, if we just look around, have blessings of which we may not even be aware. Friends who love you and pray for you, even if you still find out you have cancer, are a blessing.
Maire
|
|
|
53 yo, dx'd 11/08 at 51, 2.9 cm IDC, node-neg, neoadj chemotx with Taxotere/carboplatin q3wks x 6, lumpectomy 4/09, path showed pCR, margin reexcision 5/09, rad'n 6-8/09, intermittent Tarceva, dc'd
|
|
|
|
|
scared
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 09 2009 Location: Seattle Status: Offline Points: 224 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 9:15pm |
|
I appreciate everyone that has written a response, it has given me insight into a tough situation. So, I wish the best to everyone, and hope the road ahead is easier than the one just travelled.
|
|
|
|
|
Carol (Tenn)
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 06 2009 Location: Paris,Tennessee Status: Offline Points: 2707 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 7:08am |
|
I think this might be what Haley is talking about. We might ought to take this discussion to the Spiritual Support forum. Just my opinion. What does every one think?
Carol
|
|
|
St 2 Gr 3, A/C/T, DD
Radiation x35 Rec chest wall 07/09 Radiation x28 NED 10/24/11 NED 10/5/12 NED 03/15/13 |
|
|
|
|
lrderedita
Groupie 
Joined: Nov 15 2008 Location: Tulsa, OK Status: Offline Points: 69 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 9:36am |
|
I agree, this thread would be great in the Spiritual Support forum.
I have so much respect for each comment here. Everyone comes from different heart places yet what I hear is that we all find a way to cope. Coping THROUGH this cancer struggle - the blessings of family, friends, physicians, researchers, internet, forums to vent, good days, hugs, naps, jobs, football, cookouts...whatever. As my four year old nephew has said, "Living is easy but sometimes life is hard." Our health stats are hard but living fills our days and nights. Enjoy living...I believe that is possible through the Grace of God in my heart. Live, Love and Laugh... Lynne 
|
|
|
Age 46-5/06 lump ACT, Rads; 5/08 Rec bi-mast,Etopiside/ Cisplatin; 11/08 Rec Rads/ Gemzar(rad dose); 7/09 supraclav nodes Avastin/ Abraxane Sept09-current
Joyful in Christ through all circumstances! |
|
|
|
|
Janinesa
Newbie
Joined: Jun 24 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 3:59pm |
|
Angry is part of the process most of us go through. It is an emotion, and cancer is an emotional roller coaster. I have been a survivor of TNBC now for 5 years 7 months and while I have had days that I was angry at God I do realize now that God did not do this to me. He may not of stopped it from happening but he did not do this either. My prayers are with you.
Janine
|
|
|
|
|
Carol (Tenn)
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 06 2009 Location: Paris,Tennessee Status: Offline Points: 2707 |
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 9:51pm |
|
Welcome Janine.
So glad you found us but hate that you too had to fight this disease.
Please feel free to visit our Spiritual Support forum.
Have a blessed day
Carol
|
|
|
St 2 Gr 3, A/C/T, DD
Radiation x35 Rec chest wall 07/09 Radiation x28 NED 10/24/11 NED 10/5/12 NED 03/15/13 |
|
|
|
Topic Options|
Post Reply
|
|
Tweet
|
| Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |