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Can't seem to stop reading the obituaries it seems

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scared View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 5:33pm
That my wife reads the stories and this morning in the local paper five women died of cancer, one a five year battle with breast cancer and the rest ovarian and brain cancers.  I try to stay positive, but that section is next to the comics (ironic) that my wife loves to read, but then she reads the obituaries.  

Are you drawn to that section of the paper does it depress you too, or do the stories make you stronger?


Edited by scared - Jan 29 2010 at 5:47pm
Wife diagnosed 7/08 stage 2B 4.78cm with 3 nodes. 15 weeks of Adriamycin and Cytoxin, Mastectomy, 12 weeks of Taxol, and 6.5 weeks of radiation.
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123Donna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 123Donna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 8:15pm
Dave,

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I don't (seldom) read the newspaper.  Never seem to have the time.  Because of this, I rarely see the obituaries, unless I read it on the internet or see a news story on TV.
DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hhfheidi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 8:18pm
I read them and ALWAYS wonder what the circumstances were if they died from breast cancer.
Then I count my blessings that I am still alive.
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cg--- View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cg--- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 8:50pm
You say reading the obituaries like it is a bad thing....
 
My mother's family is Italian...the obituaries were like the social planner for my aunts.  Every day they would scan the columns, arrange the car pool, cook for the deceased families, arrange the mass cards, check the freshness of the flowers in the city, buy new black nylons.  My one beloved aunt was a hairdresser and she could have left her phone number for any funeral details in the city!  My childhood was a sea of black dresses, rosaries, and gold chains.  It was a social event...we sat vigil at the funeral home, we went to the funeral mass, we drove to the cemetary...and we ate after.  My aunts could tell you at a glance where every floral arrangement came from.  I learned many things about the protocol of the seating arrangement at the funeral home...

I learned a lot about life through those death columns.
 
Love,
Connie
 
 
 
 
 
 
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scared View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scared Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 9:02pm
Hello Heidi,

All I know is that those that died from any cancer put up a valiant fight, they did everything they could possibly do and then more to fight for their life.  And then I think about the survivors and how devastating it must be for them.  

At the beginning, when my wife was first diagnosed with breast cancer all I did was read about it.  Authors that wrote books about beating the disease (Deanne Farve, Meridith Norton, and Fran Drescher) helped me realize that there are people that survive breast cancer.  Then I read about those that died of cancer but lived great lives up to the last moment

"Before I Say Goodbye, Recollections and Observations from One Woman's Final Year" by Ruth Picardie is one that moved me to tears.  You can read about her on line she was a journalist that published a diary of her last year fighting the disease.  It tells of her last moments of life and her husband finished it, if you read it make sure you have plenty of Kleenix.

I read "Hanna's Gift" by Maria Housden that is touching.  Many of the books show courage and hope even to their last breath.  It is truly inspiring.  

Thanks for your response,

Dave


Wife diagnosed 7/08 stage 2B 4.78cm with 3 nodes. 15 weeks of Adriamycin and Cytoxin, Mastectomy, 12 weeks of Taxol, and 6.5 weeks of radiation.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote catmax1954 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 30 2010 at 3:11pm
Hey Heidi,  I DID find myself reading the obits but stopped getting the paper!! That took care of that problem. My favorite saying is fro om the TV show  "Boston Legal".  Denny and Allen are sitting on the balcony after a days work at the end of the show and one of them is talking about their on mortality and says he "Celebrates the Joy of Now".  I think it is a powerful statement that all show do.  My other saying is "This is the Day" from a gospel hymn......Yes when I do read the obits I just say "This is the Day" and I am goingr to "Celebrate the Joy of Now. 
 
Your Pink Sister,
Cathy from Tennessee
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lillie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 30 2010 at 4:00pm
Connie,

I am not Italian and we approach the funeral party from different directions, but during my life I learned a lot of life lessons through funerals also. Furnishing food, visitation, funeral service, flowers, sending cards have always been an equation in my life. It is not for the deceased that this is done, it is for the ones left behind. I never truly appreciated it until I was on the receiving end. (death of father, mother, and other close friends and family)

I do read the obituary column each day (not with dread) but as a way of keeping myself informed. Some of them are people that I know who had cancer, but a lot of them don't have cancer.   

I did have cancer but if I was in an accident and got killed, it would not be the cancer that killed me. I hope people would support my family, etc. Come on guys "grow up". Cancer is not the only thing that kills.

Just my point of view,

Lillie
Dx 6/06 age 65,IDC-TNBC
Stage IIb,Gr3,2cm,BRCA-
6/06 L/Mast/w/SNB,1of3 Nodes+
6/06 Axl. 9 nodes-
8/8 thru 11/15 Chemo (Clin-Trial) DD A/Cx4 -- DD taxol+gemzar x4
No Rads.
No RECON - 11/2018-12 yrs NED
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Carol (Tenn) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 30 2010 at 4:01pm
Hi Cathy from Tennessee...I am too...I'm from Paris. Welcome to the site..Hug
St 2 Gr 3, A/C/T, DD
Radiation x35
Rec chest wall 07/09
Radiation x28
NED 10/24/11
NED 10/5/12
NED 03/15/13
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dmwolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 30 2010 at 4:17pm
I've always enjoyed the obits.  I love the way people's lives are summed up in a paragraph, sometimes very creatively.  For a while after diagnosis I avoided them because it was too triggering, but I've long returned to my old pleasure, only this time with a special eye out for those who have died of BC.  My kids joke that I'm saying 'hi to my friends'.   Morbid, but....I like to know who I'll be joining if this is my week.  :)

-Denise
DX 2/08@43 stg II IDC; gr2,0 nodes. Neoadj chemo, first ACx2 (fail) then CarboTaxotereX6(better). Lump, Rads done 11/08; Clodronate. False alarm queen: PetCT lung & TM marker. NED. PBM w/recon 9/10.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TNBC_in_NS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 30 2010 at 8:21pm
Well I read the Obits every day and do so really to know if anyone I know has passed.  That way I can send a card or condolences to the ones left behind.  I have been on that end when I lost my parents and close friends and I know with this busy life that we all lead, it does help us to at least pray for the ones who have gone and realize that just because we don't see each other often, we feel for their loss.  Just the way I feel about it.... Helen in NS
Diag@57TNBC04/092.5cm Lquad 05/09 TCx4Radsx30CT03/01/10 FU03/31/10ClearBRCA- 01/2011 RTNBC BMX 06/14/2011~2013 clear
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kirby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 07 2010 at 1:56pm
I love this topic. I had posted the very same thing years ago when we were first participating in FPP for the book I Am Not My Breast Cancer. That may have been 2003 or 2004. I too had taken to reading the obits, which I never really had before. I was glad to read others had taken to the same. It made me feel not quite so morbid. I like the variety of answers here. Mine is more some underseated morbid thing of those that have died from cancer. I am still reading obits 9 years later. Scared, this is a weird little quirk, that I usually keep to myself. Don't worry about your wife. I am really positive about almost all aspects of life and always have been.
kirby

dx Feb. 2001. Age 44
Lumpectomy

2cm. no nodes stage 1 grade 3

4 rnds AC, 35 rads
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 123Donna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 07 2010 at 5:38pm
Today we were watching This Week (it used to be called This Week with George Stephanopolaus).  At the end of the show, there's always a section called In Memoriam.  It covers famous people that have passed along with soldiers in the military.  I always stop what I'm doing to watch the segment and read the names of the soldiers.  I feel like it's showing respect and honoring their lives.
DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15

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