Forgot about the lump... |
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scared 
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Joined: Nov 09 2009 Location: Seattle Status: Offline Points: 224 |
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 Topic: Forgot about the lump...Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 11:33am |
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Hello,
I cannot talk to anyone about this and it does not good to really bring it up anyway but it is nagging me and I thought possibly I could discuss it with my friends here and they would offer me relief and peace of mind. So, my wife discovered her lump in November of '07, and at the time she was extremely busy with work, and we were making plans to see her folks in Arizona for Christmas. She forgot about it. June of '08 she developed a cyst where she remembered finding a lump. She had it checked out, tests were done and her tumor was discovered at 4.78cm. (size of a fifty-cent piece) Now this is what is bugging me. Her tumor at that size was like an octopus that had tentacles branching into other parts of her breast so there were no clear margins and we needed to have a mastectomy. This is where I cannot ask anyone even my wife's oncologist because my wife is always there with me when we see her. If my wife did something when it was first discovered would her breast have been spared? I don't blame her, and I love her to death, but the question is nagging me and there is nobody I could ask. I know it's full of "what-ifs" and nothing can be done now. And I almost feel ashamed to ask and I know you don't know all of her statistics so it could be an impossible question to answer. I thank you for responding, Dave
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Wife diagnosed 7/08 stage 2B 4.78cm with 3 nodes. 15 weeks of Adriamycin and Cytoxin, Mastectomy, 12 weeks of Taxol, and 6.5 weeks of radiation.
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unklez
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Joined: Sep 05 2009 Location: New Jersey Status: Offline Points: 1000 |
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Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 2:46pm |
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Dear Dave,
In general, the earlier the tumor is detected the higher the chances of a smaller tumor and possibly viable lumpectomy. But without knowing how fast her tumor was growing, how long ago was her previous mammo, how the tumor was shaped when it was smaller etc it is next to impossible to gauge whether the breast would have been spared. You are right in suspecting that without knowing all of her info (actually even with knowing her info), it is an impossible question. Have you seen a PS specializing in reconstruction work? If not, consider doing that now. A few months of plastic work would yield very satisfactory results. |
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Wife Dx: Jul/09. Age: 37. Size: 3cm. BRCA: -ve. Lumpectomy: Aug/09. Micromet 1/9 node. Chemo Start: Sep/09. E5103. DD ACB-> DD Abraxane (Taxol reaction). Zometa (S0307). Canadian Fraction Rads.
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123Donna
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Joined: Aug 24 2009 Location: St. Louis, MO Status: Offline Points: 13510 |
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Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 3:32pm |
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Dear Dave,
This is a difficult question for me to respond to because I think all of us second guess ourselves. How is your wife handling everything? Does she talk to you or display any signs of regret, remorse or depression? There's always the emotional side of cancer that not only affects the patient, but the dh and family also. Donna Edited by 123Donna - Nov 28 2009 at 2:58am |
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DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15 |
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trip2
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Joined: Jun 03 2007 Location: Under Palm Tree Status: Offline Points: 8549 |
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Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 3:52pm |
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Hi Dave,
You know these tumors are so aggressive and can grow quickly. We do all second guess and that is normal. I know of one lady who used to be in the forum who said her tumor became baseball size literally overnight so who knows how fast our cancers grow.
I've had cysts checked in the past and told they were ok. Being vigilant is one of the most important things we can do. It sounds like your wife was right on top of things.
One thing I might suggest is that you call your wife's Oncologist office and scedule a "discussion" type of appointment between you and him. I think it would do you alot of good.
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Stage 2 2003
Stage 1 2007 BRCA 1+ |
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123Donna
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Joined: Aug 24 2009 Location: St. Louis, MO Status: Offline Points: 13510 |
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Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 4:12pm |
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Dave,
I have a friend who was dx with TNBC 18 months ago, Stage 0 (DCIS). You would think her options would have been great for a lumpectomy. Unfortunately, the first surgeon mucked up the lumpectomy. She then went to a highly respected breast surgeon who told her she would have to have a mastectomy because there were no clear margins. I guess I'm just trying to say here's someone who caught it early and still needed a mastectomy. Donna |
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DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15 |
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hhfheidi
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Joined: Oct 02 2009 Location: Earth Status: Offline Points: 148 |
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Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 10:07pm |
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I discovered my lump Aug. 6th and had it checked Aug. 7th (digital mammo, ultrasound, core biopsy). At that time the ultrasound had it at 1.2 cm.
When it was removed one month later upon excision it was 2.2cm. My oncologist figured it had been growing about 6 months. I had the distinct feeling that it was getting larger during that month, and the lumpectomy seemed to bear that out. My oncologist also mentioned that the reason it was so tender/sore was due to it being such a fast growing tumor. "A very badly behaving tumor" was how he put it. |
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scared
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Joined: Nov 09 2009 Location: Seattle Status: Offline Points: 224 |
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Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 12:00am |
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Thank you all for your great answers, I don't know about the "What-If's or What-could-have-beens" but I know where we are now and must move forward.
It has bothered me, but I understand we must continue to have faith, courage, and hope for the future. Becky is considering a reconstruction job but not in the near future. I told her it is her decision because to me she is perfect. Thanks friends! Dave
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Wife diagnosed 7/08 stage 2B 4.78cm with 3 nodes. 15 weeks of Adriamycin and Cytoxin, Mastectomy, 12 weeks of Taxol, and 6.5 weeks of radiation.
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suzannek
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Joined: Oct 16 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 67 |
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Posted: Nov 29 2009 at 8:46am |
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TN tumors can grow fast! Mine went from 1.6 cm to 3 cm in less than a month. I regret that I didn't opt for a mastectomy but had made the decision back when I thought I had a 'small' tumorand bought the party line that survival is the same for breast preservation vs mastectomy. (I really don't believe this is true for TNBC). Since your wife had a mastectomy, she has one less worry if there is a local recurrence. A local recurrence can spring up quickly without symptoms between check-ups. Anyway, when she is finished with treatments, she can get 'new breasts' if she wants them but I bet right now that is the least of her worries. She will need you to not second guess her in the coming months. So many here have gone down the same road as your wife. When she is up to it, please have her visit this site. |
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Sue Age 56
Stage 2A, no nodes 3 cm, TNBC,Grade 3 Lumps removed 10-07-08, 10-27-08 nodes clean: Began chemo 12-2-08 4xAC, 4xT dose dense 3 weeks radiation http://suzannekesten2.blogspot.com/ |
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kirby
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Joined: Oct 09 2007 Location: bay area,california Status: Offline Points: 1088 |
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Posted: Nov 29 2009 at 6:35pm |
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You'll never be able to second guess. Mastectomy vs. lumpectomy has been an often topic on these forums. I always get the impression from reading here that many believe mastectomy is the way to go. Many have documented reports on how fast their tumors grew, so your 7 month wait may not have even played into that. Also, many with very small tumors have had nodal invasion.
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kirby
dx Feb. 2001. Age 44 Lumpectomy 2cm. no nodes stage 1 grade 3 4 rnds AC, 35 rads |
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Lillie
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Joined: Jul 10 2009 Location: Eastern NC Status: Offline Points: 3616 |
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Posted: Nov 30 2009 at 1:54pm |
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Dear Dave,
I second Trip 2's suggestion that a meeting with your wife's oncologist (just the two of you) would be a good idea. My oncologist has consults with family members if the need arises. I assume her's would do likewise. I scense from reading your posts that you do have some underlying "What If" feeling concerning lumpectomy vs mastectomy. The biggest favor you can do for yourself and your wife is to come to terms with your feelings. You don't ever want those "What Ifs" to come back and "bite you", and they most surely will, unless you come to terms with them. You love your wife, you are going through a very traumatic time in your life. I know that caregivers take a backseat to the patient, but please don't let this ever be a stumbling block in your marriage. Love in Christ, Lillie |
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Dx 6/06 age 65,IDC-TNBC
Stage IIb,Gr3,2cm,BRCA- 6/06 L/Mast/w/SNB,1of3 Nodes+ 6/06 Axl. 9 nodes- 8/8 thru 11/15 Chemo (Clin-Trial) DD A/Cx4 -- DD taxol+gemzar x4 No Rads. No RECON - 11/2018-12 yrs NED |
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