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My friend Lu

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    Posted: Apr 12 2012 at 7:31am

What often starts as a phone call becomes a genuine friendship. That is what happened with Lu, a young woman, from Canada, who had MTNBC. I don't believe she ever posted on our message board but she was certainly in our community. 

After speaking to her on the phone, many times, last year, and exchanging emails with her and her beloved sister-in-law, Janet, we met over a very intense two day period at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. There was a gentleness, a quiet beauty to her, deep inner strength and a beautiful faith. She adored her husband, Paolo and her children, Mattias and Filipa.

As is the case, all too often in our community, Lu passed at a tragically young 39. 

She was born July 15 1972 and passed April 10 2012. 

thoughts from her family-

 

She loved butterflies and the colour orange. She had a zest for life. She NEVER gave up.

 

Cancer may have taken her but it did not win...up until the last two weeks of her life she always had a positive upbeat attitude and enjoyed life to the fullest.

....................

I told Lu, as I tell everyone, to please try to find the beauty in each day. I believe she really embraced that. It came naturally to her.

I realize it may, perhaps, be hard for some of you to mourn someone you never met but I ask you to please join me in sending prayers and condolences to her family. Lu was a lovely woman.

for Lu's family-I grieve with you today and you are in my prayers and shall be.

warmly,

Steve

I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote trip2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 12 2012 at 8:07pm
Oh Steve I am so very sorry to read about Lu..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 123Donna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 12 2012 at 9:00pm
Steve,

Even though we never got to "know" Lu, I mourn her passing.   She sounded like a wonderful person who fought the battle courageously.  Lu and her family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Donna
DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lillie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 12 2012 at 9:19pm
Steve,
 
My deepest sympathy to Lu's family and friends.  Your post about her makes me feel as though I knew her.  She was one of this large TNBC family and you cared for her.  My sympathy to you also.
 
God Bless,
Lillie
Dx 6/06 age 65,IDC-TNBC
Stage IIb,Gr3,2cm,BRCA-
6/06 L/Mast/w/SNB,1of3 Nodes+
6/06 Axl. 9 nodes-
8/8 thru 11/15 Chemo (Clin-Trial) DD A/Cx4 -- DD taxol+gemzar x4
No Rads.
No RECON - 11/2018-12 yrs NED
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Grateful for today Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2012 at 12:32am
Steve and Lu's family and friends,


Deepest sympathy with caring thoughts and prayers.

May Lu's love encircle her family and friends now and always.


Grateful for today...........Judy
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TNBC_in_NS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2012 at 9:14am
Steve, Lu's family and friends,
Accept my sincere condolences for the loss of a young, vibrant, woman with a family, friends and most of all a love for life. 
 
Steve, you said "Lu loved butterflies", well she has now received her wings from the highest power in this world and she is free from pain and suffering and has indeed become renewed as a butterfly!
 
Whenever you see one, make sure you say hello because that will be Lu or my Mom.
God Bless,
Helen in NS
Diag@57TNBC04/092.5cm Lquad 05/09 TCx4Radsx30CT03/01/10 FU03/31/10ClearBRCA- 01/2011 RTNBC BMX 06/14/2011~2013 clear
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Disney Girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2012 at 11:20am
Steve,
  I am so sorry to hear of Lu's passing, and I agree with Helen that she now has received her wings, and maybe she will be an orange butterfly!!!!
 
Sending my prayers to her beautiful family.
 
Barb
DX 3/11 @ 49 TNBC
Stage 1 Tumor size 1.8 cm Lumpectomy 3/11
0 Nodes
8 Chemo 36 rads
BRCA-

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nmunoz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 13 2012 at 9:29pm
I'm sorry about your friend Steve. I hate this disease ... I'll be praying for Lu and her family.

Un abrazote,

Natalia
Natalia, 38 years

Dx TNBC 10/22/08, BRCA1+

Double Mx 11/20/08 with Recon.

3/37 nodes

Rads 7 weeks done 8/09

ACx4 every 2 weeks and Tx12 weeks. Avastin e/3 weeksx10 (Clinical Trial) Done Dec/09
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Debris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 14 2012 at 2:52am
Steve,

So sorry to read your post about Lu. May she rest in Peace, and may you, and Lu's family, find Peace too, when remembering all she stood for during her lifetime, so short though it was.

    

Deborah.
4/12 Xeloda/Tykerb
2 Carboplatin
12/11 Dx IA
9 Gemzar/Taxotere Dx IBC:FEC
5 Ixempra/Sprycel
2 25 Rad
10/10 BRCA1-/2suv
9 NED
6 Stg4 Grd3 many nodes no Sx/Rad. Taxol/Avastin
06/08 Dx DCIS 0/SN Rads/AIs
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote denise07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 15 2012 at 10:00pm
Steve,
I am so sorry to read your post about Lu this is just so sad my heart just breaks when I learn of these things may Lu rest in peace and may her family find comfort.
DX Idc 10/07,st2,gr3,2/6 lymphnodes
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SagePatientAdvocates Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 15 2012 at 10:11pm
Dear TNBC family,

Thanks to all who posted on this thread. I received a call tonight from Janet and I forwarded a link to this thread. She is showing it to Lu's family tonight and thanked us, on behalf of the family, for doing this.

warmly,

Steve




Edited by steve - Apr 15 2012 at 10:11pm
I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beverly Cylinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2012 at 12:32pm
I am so sorry for your loss. I do understand. My beautiful sister, Linda died 4 weeks ago from TNBC. I never heard of this foundation before this morning. When Linda was diagnosed over two years ago with triple negative breast cancer, we thought the treatment she received would cure her. She had both chemo and radiation treatments. She had very bad side-effects from her first round of chemo and was in the hospital for 6 weeks dealing with a bowel obstruction that may or may not have been caused by the chemo. So, the next 5 treatments were postponed for two months while she recovered from abdominal surgery. She completed her chemo treatment in August 2010 and we celebrated with a Jimmy Buffet party. She loved Jimmy Buffet! Then in August 2011 she was diagnosed again with more cancer in her lymph nodes. The oncologist did not feel that she should or should not have more chemo as he said he only treats 1 or 2 patients a year that had her kind of cancer. She opted not to have more chemo, but did have more radiation treatments. She had a clear mammogram in late 2011 and petscan. She had a wonderful Thanksgiving, Christmas and things went well until after President's Day weekend. She started to feel really sick and couldn't breathe. She was admitted into the local hospital where it took 10 days to diagnose that she had cancer in her lungs and possibly in her liver. She went back and forth to the hospital over a four week period of time and hospice was called in on Thursday morning, March 29th and she died that afternoon. It has been very difficult to say the least. My brother-in-law is heart sick and misses her so much, as we all do. She has left a whole in our lives. I am here if you need to share your thoughts or feelings about Lu.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SagePatientAdvocates Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2012 at 6:34pm
Dear Beverly,

welcome to our family and thank you for sharing your eloquent, poignant tribute to your sister, Linda.

I hope you will visit us again and share some more of your thoughts. Your BIL is welcome as well..

In recent months, I have been having a very, very tough time dealing with the grief. I am a volunteer patient advocate and worked closely with some of the lovely women who are no longer with us.

I have yet to make any sense of it. It is what it is. At times a pernicious disease that can take one's breath away. I pray that someday things will be a lot better for our marvelous community. In the meantime, we all need to dig deep and support each other.

again, welcome...and my sincere condolences to you and the rest of Lind'a family.

warmly,

Steve


I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beverly Cylinder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2012 at 10:03pm
Steve,
Thank you for your kind words. As you know, very few people truly understand the anguish of losing someone to this awful disease. Breast cancer was an awful enough diagnosis. But, this TNBC that doesn't respond to traditional therapies is just the worst. My BIL is having such guilt over not doing more for her. My brothers and I begged him to take her to a hospital like Univ. of Penn, of Jefferson or Fox Chase Cancer Treatment, but he insisted on keeping her at their local hospital. They poked, prodded, operated, and drugged her those last four weeks. We were never told how sick she really was. We all believed she would get better. I did the 60 mile Susan G. Komen walk in 2009 and 2010 in Linda's honor. Raised $5000. I feel angry that all the billions of dollars that have been raised to find a cure, and still so many die. I don't understand.
I decided to contact the adoption agency my sister worked at for six years and ask if we can have a Memorial Award in her name be given to an adopted or orphan child from their agency each year who has done something extra special. They have agreed to have this award given in Linda's memory. I feel like I need to do something positive, to help deal with something so awful.
I am so sorry for your pain and loss. Please write again.
~Beverly

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SagePatientAdvocates Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 25 2012 at 11:38pm
Dear Beverly,

I just wanted to mention that if you wanted to post a tribute page for your sister..that would be totally fine.
There is no requirement to use a last name.

One question, please...

did your sister ever see a genetics expert and was she tested for the BRCA mutation?

warmly,

Steve
I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TNBC_in_NS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Apr 26 2012 at 9:38am
Dear Beverly,
Thanks so much for posting your feelings about your sister! We are so blessed to have you share her with us.  I am sure her DH has some regrets, but really, she did what she wanted to do and he did what he felt was best...and IT WAS! I know my BF passed one day after going into Palliative Care and although it was difficult, it was the best thing all the way around.  She was content and so was her hubby!
 
Have no regrets my dear, everything works to a better ending and I am sure you and he will miss her as I miss my friend, mom & dad every day.  They are always in our hearts and if you are like me, I talk to them every day! We can miss them, but we need to let them go where they need to be.  So, never have regrets dear sister, the best is yet to come.
 
Post here anytime and a memorial would be very nice to share if you so desire.  Should your BIL need to vent, tell him to come here and we will VENT with him....Bless you my dear for being a wonderful sister.
 
PS:  Yes, Steve is right about the genetic testing.  If your sister didn't do this maybe you should to check for the BRCA 1 & 2 genes... God Bless, Helen in Nova Scotia.
Diag@57TNBC04/092.5cm Lquad 05/09 TCx4Radsx30CT03/01/10 FU03/31/10ClearBRCA- 01/2011 RTNBC BMX 06/14/2011~2013 clear
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