#3 Treament down!!! |
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GinaMarie 
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Joined: Jun 19 2008 Location: New Jersey Essex cty Status: Offline Points: 137 |
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 Topic: #3 Treament down!!!Posted: Oct 24 2008 at 5:57pm |
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Hi Ladies, just wanted to say i had #3 today, and only one more to go on Nov. 14th!!! But i must say i had a bit of a breakdown today, the onc walked in to see me before my treatment and i just broke down into tears! I have been very emotional the past 2 days, and i know im in the home stretch, but now my fear i guess is..... whats next for me??!!! Does everyone get this? i just dont want to live my life worrying about how long before a recurrence, this is scarier to me than the chemo.
I know my onc and my surgeon are insisting i need a bilat. mast. but i feel like i need more info before going ahead with this. I asked about a skin sparing mast and my onc feels it would leave too much tissue to breed another ca, i just feel like everytime i come up with a solution i can deal with, its shot down!!
I really needed to vent to u ladies, hope u dont mind, but i think ive been really strong through this and now im just breaking down, even though im almost done and i know soooo many others have many more treatments GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!! I dont know how much stronger or much more i couldv'e taken, but i guess you do what you have to to win this fight!!!
If anyone has some input or ideas for me to discuss my options about bilat mast. please fill me in, i was just thinking of going for one or 2 more opinions, because i have heard that being trip neg and being BRCA pos is also very different..... I need to do alot of research i think, am i right??
Hope all is well, will be in touch over weekend, hopefully Neulasta doesnt kill me too much tomorrow!!
 Have a great night, prayers to u all
Love Gine
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gigi
Stage 1 Grade 3 dx may 2008 2 lumpectomies, first one wrong dx of fibroadenoma!! chemo 4 rounds ovr 3 mos Taxotere/Cytoxan BRCA 1+ Bilat mast. with Lat flap recon done 1/9/09!!! No rads!! |
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sibu
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Joined: Jun 27 2008 Location: FL Status: Offline Points: 660 |
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Posted: Oct 24 2008 at 7:00pm |
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Hang in there, Gina
Now is a perfectly acceptable time to have a complete emotional breakdown, if you wish. You'll feel better. Go right ahead!! If you still have taste buds at this point, I'd also recommend a good pint of Ben and Jerry's. Definitely get a second and third opinion before doing any surgery you aren't comfortable with. Would they want to do the bilat. mast. after chemo but before radiation? What are the implications of a skin-sparing versus non? I'm not familiar with that. Is is more difficult to reconstruct? Of course every case is different. What are they basing the recommendation on? In my particular case (2 lumps in different quadrants, BRCA1+), they were able to tell me that, over my lifetime, the chances of it coming back in the other breast were 80%! That made the decision for me to do bilateral. Lots of love and Kleenex your way, Donna |
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Donna, age 42
Dx IDC 12/06, 5/18 Nodes + BRCA1+ Double mast. 1/07 Chemo 6 X TAC 6/07, rads 10/07 Hyst./Recon. 12/07 |
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kirby
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Joined: Oct 09 2007 Location: bay area,california Status: Offline Points: 1088 |
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Posted: Oct 24 2008 at 9:49pm |
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Gina,
I don't know if you were premenopausal and that changed with chemo, but that does have an effect on the emotions. I would generally find myself crying while driving. I am not easily given to tears. Then when it dawned on me, about hormonal changes, I felt so much better. I could really enjoy that cry ! Chemopause isn't a subject that seems to get much discussion.
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kirby
dx Feb. 2001. Age 44 Lumpectomy 2cm. no nodes stage 1 grade 3 4 rnds AC, 35 rads |
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GinaMarie
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Joined: Jun 19 2008 Location: New Jersey Essex cty Status: Offline Points: 137 |
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Posted: Oct 25 2008 at 2:02am |
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Hi Donna, Yes they want to do the bilat. after chemo, they said no rads if i decided to do the mast. they say results are better without the radiation with the reconstruction. They say skin sparing with BRCA + leaves too much breast tissue for recurrence, so there is really no point in that, because i wouldn't mind doing that one, they kind of for lack of better words gut out the breast and pop and implant in!! I had the one lump, was 1.7cm margins clear and no nodes, so i just felt that a bilat at this point was VERY aggressive but my BRCA status made the whole thing worse!! I will get more opinions for sure. Hi Kirby i actually just turned 37 last week so i dont think i was pre-menopausal at all before this, so far ive had a period during chemo and expecting another this wk, we will see what happens! The onc told me this chemo may not ruin my fertility and im hoping thats the case because i dont have kids yet and desperately want at least one, my husband and i have an embryo that we froze but its just one, and that doesnt give us great odds of it working. So i just pray everyday that one i can beat this and 2 i can have the baby i want so bad one day!! and yes the tears just came out of nowhere!! But it does feel good to get it out, i think i have been soooo strong since this started my body just needed to let loose!! Thank you ladies both so much, Kirby did u have a bilat?? Just realized you and i have very similar cases i was grade 3 also, but maybe u werent BRCA +?? Im having the cytoxan and taxotere. Let me know, thanks Hope to chat soon, love to u both Donna thanks for the love and Kleenex Hugs Gina
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gigi
Stage 1 Grade 3 dx may 2008 2 lumpectomies, first one wrong dx of fibroadenoma!! chemo 4 rounds ovr 3 mos Taxotere/Cytoxan BRCA 1+ Bilat mast. with Lat flap recon done 1/9/09!!! No rads!! |
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trip2
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Joined: Jun 03 2007 Location: Under Palm Tree Status: Offline Points: 8549 |
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Posted: Oct 25 2008 at 6:10am |
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Hi Gina,
Oh yes I say let the tears flow. Our emotions play a big part in this journey and as we approach the end we are glad but yet scared about our future. We feel like we are doing something to fight the beast while in chemo.
I think you should do some research and get those first and second opinions and after you talk to these doctors they will give you a better frame of what they can do and you will feel better.
I hope you are feeling better today!
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Stage 2 2003
Stage 1 2007 BRCA 1+ |
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Lesley
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Joined: Apr 20 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 26 |
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Posted: Oct 25 2008 at 2:34pm |
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Gina,
Sorry to hear you have so much on your plate. Pre-menopausal doesn't actually mean you were going into menopause before this started, but that you haven't already gone through it. Women with BC are considered either premenopausal or postmenopausal when diagnosed, and that makes a difference in prognosis and treatment.
I don't know if you're familiar with the website www.youngsurvival.org, but its a great place for you to talk with other women in their twenties, thirties, and forties who are dealing with breast cancer. Since some of our issues are different than those of postmenopausal woman (more aggressive cancer, fertility, dating, parenting young children with cancer, etc.), it is another great place to get information and find support. The boards there are very active, and occasionally things get tense, but its been my saving grace through my own journey.
Hang in there! You will figure out a decision that you can live with.
Lesley
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sibu
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Joined: Jun 27 2008 Location: FL Status: Offline Points: 660 |
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Posted: Oct 25 2008 at 3:19pm |
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Hey Gina,
At this point, would they consider the mast. prophylactic--not necessarily to remove a cancer, but more as a preventative measure? If so, it seems like you may have a bit more time. They generally only do radiation if there is significant node involvement, I believe. Not familiar with the skin-saving mast. I have heard cases of people 'storing' their areolas inside their leg, then they regraft it later. Wow...nice visual! The fertility issue must be gut-wrenching. There are people on the boards every so often, who have eggs extracted before chemo. Not covered by insurance, of course. Did your onc. tell you what he thought the chances were of chemo throwing you into permanent menopause? There is another thing to go over with the genetic counselor. Because of your BRCA+ status, they may recommend a full hysterectomy in the future. Just seems contrary to the natural order of things--so many young women getting breast cancer, before becoming mothers even. I will surround your whole situation with white light and prayers and wish you the very best. Besos, Donna |
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Donna, age 42
Dx IDC 12/06, 5/18 Nodes + BRCA1+ Double mast. 1/07 Chemo 6 X TAC 6/07, rads 10/07 Hyst./Recon. 12/07 |
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kirby
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Joined: Oct 09 2007 Location: bay area,california Status: Offline Points: 1088 |
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Posted: Oct 25 2008 at 9:47pm |
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Gina,
I was dx a couple months before my 45th b'day. Lesley's description of menopause/premenopause is accurate. I was told that at my age I had a 10% chance of coming out of menopause after chemo. I had periods..regularly..until after my last chemo. Then they abruptly stopped.My circumstances were different. I had young daughters and thought a positive spin would be an advantage to having no periods. This has got to be tough, having uncertainty with cancer and fertility as a result. I will hope for the best for you.
I am not BRCA+. I have had a lumpectomy. I had a surgical biopsy. Margins were not clear and nodes had to be checked regardless. Sentinal node surgery had just come out, but with the size of my tumour, the surgeon wasn't comfortable removing a few. I was shot with the dye, but his attitude was better safe than sorry. He removed 13 nodes. Fortunately all were clear.
ps. A favorite someone told me when I was first dx. "allow yourself 15 minutes everyday for a pity party/good cry/ whatever." Oooh, it felt even better, once I gave myself permission. It is so hard always being strong. Edited by kirby - Oct 25 2008 at 9:53pm |
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kirby
dx Feb. 2001. Age 44 Lumpectomy 2cm. no nodes stage 1 grade 3 4 rnds AC, 35 rads |
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GinaMarie
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Joined: Jun 19 2008 Location: New Jersey Essex cty Status: Offline Points: 137 |
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Posted: Oct 26 2008 at 2:08am |
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Good morning ladies, another sleepless night after chemo, the 2nd night always seems to be worse! Between nausea and i guess the Decadron. Lesley thanks for the info i actually did check out young survival sight, was interesting, and i was getting very regular periods right before diagnosis, no sign of premenopause, we were actually just trying to get pregnant when i found out, and Donna here is where im VERY confused... this would def. be prophylactic due to BRCA status, i had clean sentinal nodes and clear margins, they are just afraid of recurrence due to the gene. He also didnt think i would lose my fertility due to the treatment im having, he couldnt guarantee it, but said the chances are good that i could still conceive. But as i mentioned my husband and i stored an embryo before chemo, and i got 2nd opinion on removing ovaries in the near future, they say by the time i reach my early 40's that should happen, so i have a few years for that. Snd Kirby, thank you for your response, god bless that u are not BRCA + its such a cross to bear knowing that this can just pop up again when you least expect it!! I just need to get more informed before making any decisions, i love my Onc, but i need more facts from more dr's, this is a HUGE decision. Will keep you all posted and thank you so much for all your input, keep it coming. XOXO Gina |
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gigi
Stage 1 Grade 3 dx may 2008 2 lumpectomies, first one wrong dx of fibroadenoma!! chemo 4 rounds ovr 3 mos Taxotere/Cytoxan BRCA 1+ Bilat mast. with Lat flap recon done 1/9/09!!! No rads!! |
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SnoozBar
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Joined: Aug 27 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 65 |
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Posted: Oct 30 2008 at 7:00pm |
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Gina Marie,
OH wow, you are going through it. Hope you are handling chemo alright. It can be a struggle. I tested pos for BRCA 1 and had my dbl mast on 8/1/08, I haven't had my period since Mar, a month after I started chemo. I also have not had children so I am awaiting it to come back. Good for you for storing an embryo, just in case. Good luck to you and you will be in my thoughts.' Mary |
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kirby
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Joined: Oct 09 2007 Location: bay area,california Status: Offline Points: 1088 |
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Posted: Oct 30 2008 at 7:18pm |
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snoozbar, My periods did stop after my last treatment, but did resume again 10 months later. Of course, just when I had left for a vacation! I think I was older than both of you. They continued for about a year before really stopping.
I'll hope for the both of you that yours return permanently.
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kirby
dx Feb. 2001. Age 44 Lumpectomy 2cm. no nodes stage 1 grade 3 4 rnds AC, 35 rads |
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SnoozBar
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Joined: Aug 27 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 65 |
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Posted: Oct 31 2008 at 8:36am |
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thanks Kirby for the info. I hope your vacation was still good :)
Mary |
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