Need just some hope

My wife is in bed asleep because her RBC's and also (WBC's and platelets)

PM,

Understand your fears.  However, as Caryn says, the statistics we read are OLD.  I was diagnosed with liver mets Feb. '06 and I'm still going.  Actually, I'm doing pretty darn good!  My experience with Gemzar was not that good.  It was the 1st chemo after being diagnosed.  I'm sure it's a good drug and it kept me going until I was able to get Taxol/Avastin.  That has been the best combination for me.  Whatever you do, don't give up hope!  Keep believing they will find the right combination for your wife.  Don't be afraid to ask questions.  Also, there are web sites out there that tell you about all the trials that are available.  You might want to look at those and question your wife's onc about them. 

I'll be keeping your family in my prayers.  

Wow, Brenda, that is so great!  Congratulations!  

Woohoo, Brenda!!

Dearr PM,

Ladies, Paul hasn't been on line since May 9.  I even tried googling to see if I could find out how his wife is doing.  I did find that he contributed a story to Bill Clinton's book "Giving" on caring for an autistic child, but nothing about his wife susie.

I first wanted to say that I am very sorry I have been away from the boards.  A lot of different demands; pulls from different directions.

But it just warmed my heart so much you cannot know when I saw that you all were thinking of Susie and me and worrying and wondering what might be going on.  I'll catch you up on where we are in the battle.

Of course in March, the doctors diagnosed Susie Stage IV, Triple Negative Breast Cancer. The doctors are (looking for word other than negative)......, well...kinda negative.  You'll never catch them giving you one thread of false promise, and I understand why they are doing that.  In the beginning of this in March they told us the worst outcome and did not go into a lot of detail about better ones.  For 3 months of treatment with Avastin, Gemzar and Carboplatin we went through what I know you all have to similarly go through.  Like a dark cloud, no matter how good  your attitutde that follows around; like a cartoon character with dark cloud that just stays above the head.

After 3 months of regular chemo treatments, and caring for Susie during her ups and downs with the chemotherapy they gave a CT scan.  Of course, they took the scan and we were told to come back in a week or so where they would interpret the results for us.  Long week!

I am very encouraged (understatement) to tell you that this doctor came in and you could tell that what she was about to say was completely not what she had expected for my Susie.  She said that the treatments with the 3 medicines showed on CT scan a SIGNIFICANT reduction of the cancer that was found throughout her lymph nodes.  In every lymph node region, that was her description...SIgnificantly reduced. For this doctor who doesn't play the positive I think out of fear of giving false hope that was a big word for her.  You could tell also she was surprised. 

Now, of course, she is still Stage IV.  The cancer still exists throughout the lymphatic system but has not entered any organs or taken up shop in any new places.  We were grateful for what they told us.  They could have come in and said, no change...no response. or little bit of response.  But this was I think the best thing that they could have told us.  Right away she said it changed Susie's prognosis, in regard to LIFE.  The doctor carefully said that being a responder meant that the two year survival that we had been living with and thinking was the case has changed. They do not know where it lies, no doctor does. But Susie is definitely a responder and she is fighting!!!  The responding added many years to the prognosis.  I'm almost afraid to ask or research possibly how many...in fact I hope you understand we are almost afraid to celebrate the good news too much out of fear that the way life can be unfair that the next CT Scan would show no improvement. So we've been quiet, almost walking on eggshells.  But also 300 tons of pressure and tears and worry were lifted in that at least we are 'responding' and going in the right direction.  Please forgive me for not writing.  In those bleak early first month and weeks I cannot tell you how many on here gave me just enough hope to be able to go to sleep, maybe get through the next day. Priceless gifts.
So thank you.  We are going to try and take the children for a brief vacation because we feared all of this would deny them a trip this year which they so much deserve. 
I look forward to logging back on and learning from you all what is happening with every one else ( I pray for the absolute best). and I do have questions when I get back to regular about what maybe we might expect. I've heard before once a responder...not always a second time responder and stuff like that. We of course are still scared so bad.  But the CT scan helped us breath; and until that day I did not realize how much horrible stress I had been living and breathing with day to day. In fact, my response instead of a lot of jumping up and down was like the sleep of a man who'd been lost in a jungle for a long time and just been found and given food. I slept a lot.  I guess my bodies way of reparing itself from the nervous system and heart stress we endured.  I pray for everyone so sincerely and so hard.  And can't wait to get back to talk to some of you veterans to see what all that has happened to us so far might mean.

Thank you so much.
Most Sincerely,
Paul Motheral

Dear Paul,

Hi, Paul,

Yes, I also felt that way: get rid of it and the body will be able to fight easier! (I have two friends, they did mast. and at least in one case they found hidden tumor in the other "healthy" breast! She worked at the path(!) lab!