my friend Emerald

Eulogy Emerald L.

I first ‘met’ Emerald almost two years ago. A dear friend of hers, in Hawaii, who knew of my patient advocacy efforts contacted me and asked if I could help Emerald.
She had metastatic disease and wanted to get other opinions from gynecologic oncologists in the United States.

We had extensive conversations on the phone and another patient advocate friend of mine, Vicki Tashman kindly accompanied Emerald to her appointment, in Los Angeles, as I was out of town.

We then decided to go to a major cancer center in Houston and the physician there told her she had, in his opinion, 3-6 months to live. She asked me “what  I should I do? Shall I just go back home and prepare to die?” “Emerald, why don’t we try someone at the Mayo Clinic? They are ranked number in the country regarding gynecologic cancer. Maybe they have someone there who is a bit more optimistic?”

I said optimistic with a big smile and was treated to Emerald’s wonderful, hearty laugh.

We were at a very nice restaurant in Houston and at the next table a couple were celebrating their 25^th anniversary with their son and daughter. Emerald and I had congratulated them and wished them well. Then the waiter brought out a large anniversary cake and I said, out loud, “wow that cake looks good. I wonder if we could get a piece?” Again, Emerald’s wonderful laugh as the couple graciously sent two pieces over to our table.

Here was Emerald receiving terrible news that day, yet able to put that aside for a moment and have a good laugh. Her sense of humor amazingly intact.

We went to the Mayo Clinic together and met a marvelous gynecologic/oncologist by the name of William Cliby. He said that he believed Emerald was a candidate for surgery and he felt he could add meaningful time to her life but it would be a tough, tough surgery with difficult side effects and the choice was hers. We discussed it and she decided to go for it.

Our conversation was rational and she had asked Dr. Cliby very intelligent questions.

The surgery was tough and the side effects were extremely difficult but what was missing was a patient who bitterly complained, although she certainly had reason to. She handled the surgery and her recuperation period with a certain grace and yes, even elegance, that I find hard to describe.

She was an extraordinarily bright woman with a deep faith that never left her. A few months before her passing I asked her if there was anything she would like and she told me she would love to read Believer’s Bible Commentary by William MacDonald.