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Still wonder..but what if

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cdenunzio View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jul 11 2010 at 12:42pm
Some of you might remember but last Sept 09 my wife Heather 36 passed away. She had a TNBC diag in Feb 2008 with only one lump about 2-3 cm, they scanned the rest of her over the next few visits and was clean.  I strongly believe that if things were left alone in her case, never biopsied she would still be alive today.  As if the gates are opened and the tumor cells are released into the body.  I know the Dr's believe thier magic juices can kill but not in the case with her tumor type. She was tested for the BRCA early on the next month Mar 08 and negative.  I know hindsight is 20/20 and I am speaking probably out of emotion.  It just bothers me and will get over it.  Just a thought for some of you just diagnosed maybe to contemplate things a bit.  Heather probably was given every concoction of chemo mentioned on these forums and nothing worked. 18 months from biopsy gone....
Im doing ok, just venting.

Edited by cdenunzio - Jul 11 2010 at 12:44pm
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ann u View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ann u Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 12 2010 at 2:39pm
I'm so sorry about your wife - all of us here know that TNBC is a "different" breast cancer.  Sometimes no matter what you throw at it, nothing works.
 
I too, have thoughts running through my head all the time of the "coulda, shoulda, woulda" type.  In the end, you have to be comfortable with the decisions that you make.
 
I know you are just venting, and we all do the same -
 
Ann
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LauraT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 12 2010 at 2:53pm
Cdenunzio,
 
I am incredibly sorry for your loss-this disease follows no rules.  Thank you for speaking out of your experience and wanting to help others.  Your anger and emotion are absolutely understandable. 
 
Laura
DX 10/09 @44, Stage I IDC tnbc, DCIS other side, Neoadjuvant TCx4, Bilateral Mastectomy w/Recon 1/10, 1.2cm 0/7 Nodes, 5/11 Mets to Lungs/Lymph Nodes, Avastin/Taxol, 10/11 Bone Mets, Xgeva
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zoomommy2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 12 2010 at 4:09pm
Cdenunzio, you have every right to vent and be angry.  Your wife was way too young to be gone.  There seems to be so many different outcomes regardless of the stage of our cancer and the treatment we get.  We just take one day at a time.  Praying for your healing.
Lee in Denver
dx6/09,stageII,gr3,(L)mastectomy 7/09,ACx4,Taxolx7,Avastin study,gall bladder surgery 1/10,4/11 Stage 4, mets to lung, 4/11 Started Taxotere and Xeloda, 5/11 Taxotere stopped, off Xeloda
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote trip2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 12 2010 at 6:37pm
Hi,
 
I certainly do remember Heather and so very sorry for you and her family.
 
We so enjoyed Heather, such a lively one, a fighter, a real trooper.  Her loss is heartbreaking.  I was just looking at her picture yesterday in this website she had submitted.
 
My condolences and let me tell you that what you are doing is very normal.  You are in pain, grieving.
 
We as patients with TNBC look back and wonder all the time although we can't change a darn thing.  It is a normal human behavior.
Best wishes to you,
Stage 2 2003
Stage 1 2007
BRCA 1+
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123Donna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 123Donna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 12 2010 at 9:39pm
Cdenunzio,

I can feel your pain and anger over the loss of your Heather.  All of this just seems so unfair.  Thanks for feeling open with us enough to vent and express your anger.

Donna
DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Debris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 13 2010 at 12:07pm
God Bless you, Cdenunzio, and give you healing.
 
Deborah.
4/12 Xeloda/Tykerb
2 Carboplatin
12/11 Dx IA
9 Gemzar/Taxotere Dx IBC:FEC
5 Ixempra/Sprycel
2 25 Rad
10/10 BRCA1-/2suv
9 NED
6 Stg4 Grd3 many nodes no Sx/Rad. Taxol/Avastin
06/08 Dx DCIS 0/SN Rads/AIs
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dmwolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 13 2010 at 11:24pm
Of course we remember.  Your darling Heather has left her mark on all of us.  I wish you peace, healing, and loving remembrance.
Love,
Denise
DX 2/08@43 stg II IDC; gr2,0 nodes. Neoadj chemo, first ACx2 (fail) then CarboTaxotereX6(better). Lump, Rads done 11/08; Clodronate. False alarm queen: PetCT lung & TM marker. NED. PBM w/recon 9/10.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lillie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2010 at 8:43pm
Cdenunzio,

It is perfectly normal for you to ask "what if". We all do it at times. I am so sorry about Heather, she was a beautiful person and too young to die. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. God Bless

Lillie
Dx 6/06 age 65,IDC-TNBC
Stage IIb,Gr3,2cm,BRCA-
6/06 L/Mast/w/SNB,1of3 Nodes+
6/06 Axl. 9 nodes-
8/8 thru 11/15 Chemo (Clin-Trial) DD A/Cx4 -- DD taxol+gemzar x4
No Rads.
No RECON - 11/2018-12 yrs NED
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote chloesmom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jul 14 2010 at 10:07pm
Cdenunzio, 
Venting is a good thing-  sometimes we need to get everything out, it helps with the healing process.  Asking 'what if'  is totally normal.  I think everyone on this forum, at one point or another, has asked themselves, what if...
Your wife Heather was a beautiful person and way too young to die.  TNBC is a beast.  My Mom is battling this disease now, but the end is near, as she is on hospice.  
Keep Heathers memories alive for your children.
Dana

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MsBliss Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 27 2010 at 8:16pm
Dear CD---

I completely relate to your "what if" scenario.  I ask myself the same thing with regard to my sweet mom, and for that matter, to other losses I have witnessed or been a part of.

My approach to this world of cancer is completely dispassionate.  I don't want the feel good aphorisms, I want the truth and the facts, so please forgive me if I write harshly.

It is a good question you pose.  When your dear wife entered the medical paradigm, did their potions, surgery, and high doses of radiation, repeatedly, make things worse?  Not only that, did they leave critical issues forgotten?

In my opinion, this happens.  But part of the reason is that we lay down and don't participate in the process, asking questions.  There is a good reason for this---they discourage it and we are frightened.  We know nothing of medicine or cancer when we walk in those doors.  Even doctors who have cancer are overwhelmed.

It is unlikely that the excision surgery spread Heather's tumor.  Cancer surgeons are trained to respect the cell to cell risks--even excising the tracks left by biopsy core needles for this reason.  They don't mess around.  But it is now known that morphine given after surgery depresses the natural killer cells.  The NK cells are cancer sentinels--we need them exactly when they are being suppressed.  But here is the shocking state of the art.  When I took my independently ordered immune study lab results to my first oncologist, who by the way is one of the top TNBC researchers in the country, he/she looked at my numbers and said to my face "the immune system has nothing to do with breast cancer".   I said "What?  Are you serious?".  "Yes, the immune system doesn't seem to work well in the breast".  This contradicts every reasonable conclusion being made in cancer research today.  Why did he/she say this?  Is he/she just stupid?  No, of course not.  He/she just wanted me to stop being interested in my disease, to shut up and take my medicine.   He/she doesn't have time for this.  This is a common scenario, one that many of us run into.

The other issue you mentioned was whether the chemotherapy besides being ineffective, did it make things worse?  It is entirely possible.  Aside from the reversible collateral damage that chemo does to the body, there are simply subtypes of tnbc that are "nuclear powered"; in other words, a body weakened by chemo or not, the cancer cell type is very strong and adaptable.   One type is the cancer stem cell, and tnbc tends to have this in abundance.  But what researchers are learning is that these cancer stem cells can be unaffected by chemo.  Cancer stem cells divide slowly and chemo targets fast cell division.  This is just one scenario.  There are many.  Another scenario is the problem with microtentacles.  One chemo agent, I won't name it, will cause microtentacles to become longer and more active.  The microtentacles make it possible for the dislodged cancer cell to embed in new areas, especially the blood vessels.   Without the long tentacles, the cancer cell would be pushed through the blood vessel, fragment and die.  This same agent will cause tumor shrinkage but cause circulating tumor cells to skyrocket in numbers.  Fortunately, they give this chemo agent as more of a "mop up" therapy, after most if not all of the cancer cells have been eradicated.  It has it's place, properly applied, but for some, it is problematic to say the least.

As for the question I pose, did they leave critical things forgotten?  Well, yes they do.  In my extremely harsh opinion, the neglect that some oncologists do with regard to vitamin D testing and raising vitamin D levels borders on criminal negligence.  I am allowed to say that.  It is how I feel.  Not only do most oncologists NEVER test vitamin D levels, they don't insist on levels above 30ng per ml, they prescribe vitamin D2, a biologically inactive and cheap form of D to raise their patient's level, they don't address D3 resistance in cancer patients, and they don't tell patients that high levels of serum D3 MAKE CHEMO WORK BETTER.  They know this.  They have known this for many years, yet they are mostly silent.

Again, my apologies for any abrasive language and opinions.  I lose my "editor" when I write about this subject.

I hope you see that your coming back here and venting your concerns was not only healthy and healing, but a wonderful testament to your love for Heather.  You have given a tiny, nagging voice inside a place to express itself.  It is important and I thank you.

All my best,
Bliss  


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote trip2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 27 2010 at 8:56pm
Interesting Bliss,
 
One item you discussed, the doc saying the immune system doesn't factor in caught my eye.  Actually the whole paragraph as I had never thought about that angle before.  I have been rebuffed by my questions, assumed, which could be dangerous of course, either they are too busy or don't know the answers I need.
Now enter your thoughts as to let's just throw this patient off track and tell them this or that doesn't matter, hmmm, very well could be, thank you for expressing your feelings/info, found it all interesting.
 
You are always welcome to post your opinions, no apologies needed.


Edited by trip2 - Aug 27 2010 at 9:01pm
Stage 2 2003
Stage 1 2007
BRCA 1+
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CiGi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 27 2010 at 9:50pm

MsBliss - Interesting reading.  I agree that doctors don't take vitamin D deficiencies seriously.  I have hypertriglyceridemia (high fats in blood), two years ago my triglycercides were 2400 (normal is 150) and it cause pancreatitis and furthermore caused ARDS (lung failure).  I almost did not make it (40% don’t)!  My blood is closely monitored and late last year my levels went from 300 to 1800 so there was great concern and I had massive blood work and all they found was that my vitamin D was 10.  They advised me to take D3.  Since the vitamin D deficiency had nothing to do with my condition, they paid no mind to it.  I asked them if I was at risk of cancer and no one seemed to care, I asked my doctor, I asked my OB, I asked my pulmonologist, no one cared.  Months later I found my lump and here I am.  They still don’t take it seriously.  I asked to have it tested before my last chemo treatment last week, I asked today since I was there getting  my blood counts and she told me she didn't see any test for D.  WTF!!!  How many doctors do I need to keep asking to test it and they don't!  I have no clue where it is at.  It makes me so angry.  Why don't they see the importance of it???  I keep taking my D daily praying that when I finally get it tested that they are good.  I'm thinking of doing it myself, saw a post on here about it.

Age 40, 4/28/10 lumpectomy (3 cm) TNBC Grade 3 Stage 2 0/3 nodes, TAC 6x 3 week cycles start 6/15 finish 9/27, 33 rounds rads 11/22. BRCA1 & 2 neg. Lymphedema rt hand 8/14. Joint pain Dec 2010.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 123Donna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 27 2010 at 10:54pm
Bliss,

Your analysis and knowledge is very thorough and hits the point. 

I remember reading the study about morphine suppressing the nk cells.  It scared the cr*p out of me because after the mastectomy, that's what they give you for the pain.  Oh well, I can't change what's done.   Like you, I think knowledge is power and I'd rather know than be left in the dark.

Donna
DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 123Donna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 27 2010 at 10:55pm
Cigi,

You can order the Vit D3 in-home test kit.  Here's the link:

http://www.zrtlab.com/vitamindcouncil/

Donna




DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MsBliss Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 28 2010 at 1:26am
CiGi, I am not surprised that they are not following up with the D testing and advisement.  When I was diagnosed, my level was 16.  But they didn't tell me.  They did bill me for the test, but they didn't think it was important enough to tell me.  Then, they prescribed D2 which I stupidly took for 3 months.  So, what do you do?  Take control.  Make it your business to get this test done; in the interim take at least 2000IU per day, and take a little sun.  I know many people who take 2000IU per day as a matter of course.  I have taken 10000IU per day since my last test!  I've had my levels tested and it went up to 74 when I was getting sun, now it is around 60 even with taking 10000IU per day.  But mind you, when you take high doses of D, you have to monitor serum calcium because D will cause circulating calcium levels to go up.  For me, I take 150 micrograms of K2 with the D.  The K2 prevents any circulating calcium from collecting along the artery walls, which is one of the concerns of supplementing with high amounts of D.  But at levels of 2000IU a day, this is not high enough to cause this.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MsBliss Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 28 2010 at 2:29am
Dear Donna,

Yes, I know what you mean about learning about the morphine connection.  As cancer patients we are already on notice that something is amiss with our immune cells, we don't need to add to the problem!  But we are likely all in the same boat, because the use of morphine during and after surgery is so common.  We can ask for the use of a non-morphine alternatives, and / or  use immune boosting supplements and maybe include the short term use of mistletoe because at least it couldn't hurt and it may help.  Also, get out of the hospital as quickly as you can.  Staying in the hospital for extended periods further disrupts the immune system.  Must be those gowns they make us wear!

All my best,
Bliss


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote trip2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 28 2010 at 9:20am
Cigi, now that I think about it, I asked my Cardiologist, whom treated me for about everything other than Cancer at the time to do the simple Vitamin D test which they did, numbers were fine.
Stage 2 2003
Stage 1 2007
BRCA 1+
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CiGi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 28 2010 at 9:43am
Thanks Pam.  I ask all my doctors to test it and I see a lot of them and I'm still waiting.  I'm a very nice, polite and patient person so maybe they're just not taking me serious.  I think I need to be more demanding and make it very clear that I'm tired of waiting.  My onc is really going to hear from me because she said they would test. 
Age 40, 4/28/10 lumpectomy (3 cm) TNBC Grade 3 Stage 2 0/3 nodes, TAC 6x 3 week cycles start 6/15 finish 9/27, 33 rounds rads 11/22. BRCA1 & 2 neg. Lymphedema rt hand 8/14. Joint pain Dec 2010.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 123Donna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Aug 28 2010 at 9:59am
CiGi,

As a rule of thumb I've read that to increase your Vit D level by 10 points you need to increase your supplementation of D3 by 1,000 iu's.  For example, if your level is 10 and you goal is 60 or higher, you'll need to bump it up by at least another 5,000 ius a day.  It takes time for it to get into your system so you won't see an immediate result.  It may take a couple of months.  I've been testing mine every 3 months at first to judge how I was doing and to see if I needed to increase my dose.  I take between 7,000 and 8,500 ius a day and my levels at the last test was 68.
DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15

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