To shave or not to shave (head) |
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nell 
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Joined: Apr 18 2009 Location: Palm Harbor, Florida Status: Offline Points: 8 |
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 Topic: To shave or not to shave (head)Posted: Jun 17 2009 at 5:34pm |
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I have had my third procedure now in 3 months, biopsy, lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy, then axillary node dissection. 3/24 positive for metastatic cancer. TNBC, High grade, invasive ductal carcinoma. Stage IIA.
What a blessing they found this for me, I was actually in worried about lymphadenopathy on the left axillary, and before cutting them out, I asked for a cat scan and there was asymetric density on the right. Had ultrasound and mammogram to check and it showed an aggressive tumor. So the roller coaster has begun. Still havent had the left checked out but they say nothing in breast so!!!!!!!!! I had a normal mammogram, 6 months before this.
Any way I digress... Shave or not? I am starting chemo in a week and the Doctor assures me I will loose my hair within two weeks after that, so I am not ready to see it fall out in bits, but not sure I have the nerve to pull a britney spears>> I would like to know of any creative and positive ways others have done this. One gentelman said he had a party and allowed family and friends to all shave bits off. Thats a bit much for me I think.
Any thoughts would be welcomed. I am too lazy to search through all the old posts and forums.
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mefowler
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Joined: Apr 29 2009 Location: Topeka, Kansas Status: Offline Points: 115 |
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Posted: Jun 17 2009 at 5:49pm |
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Dear Nell, When my hair started to fall out it was so gross! And it was everywhere, all over my pillow, all over my clothes. My hairdresser had told me he would buzz me when it started to fall out. But my older daughter (27 years old) said she had always wanted to buzz someone's head and begged me to wait until she got home the next week so she could do it. I did, but cut it to about two inches all over first and I had to start wearing a wig. When she got home, she cut of all my hair, but first she gave me a mohawk and took pictures. She wanted me to make the "rock on" sign, so I obliged (I thought) and she burst out laughing because I was making the sign for I love you in ASL! Anyway, after the picture, she cut off the rest of it. It felt a lot better buzzed, because the longer hair pulls on your scalp somehow and makes it hurt in a stingy way. However you do it, have some fun with it. And thanks for reminding me of that day!
Maire
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53 yo, dx'd 11/08 at 51, 2.9 cm IDC, node-neg, neoadj chemotx with Taxotere/carboplatin q3wks x 6, lumpectomy 4/09, path showed pCR, margin reexcision 5/09, rad'n 6-8/09, intermittent Tarceva, dc'd
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Sunris
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Joined: May 08 2009 Status: Offline Points: 252 |
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Posted: Jun 17 2009 at 5:56pm |
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Nell,
My hair was nearly to the mid back so what I did was cut it into a really short cut that it turned out I totally loved!! I don't mean a short 2" , I just mean a cute little sassy, spunky short cut. HA!! I thought I was trying to transition myself but that cute lil' cut only lasted approx. 6 days before it started falling out...well, actually it didn't "FALL" out.....it thinnnnneeeddddd out.....so thin that ya might as well have been bald...so, My best friend came over and we had the official ceremony. Like Maire, we also did the mohawk thing which was fun and silly. We took the pics, then shaved off the rest. It's your call sweetie! |
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 Dawn Age 43 at DX DX 3-09 IDC 3.9cm TN-Stage2-Grade3 Taxolx9, FACx2, halted TX, Lump.8-25-09..rads x 8wks. |
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TripleTip
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Joined: Apr 16 2009 Location: La Verne Status: Offline Points: 12 |
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Posted: Jun 17 2009 at 7:04pm |
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Dear Nell, I wanted to have a degree of control of the inevitable. My stylist first cut two 12 inch ponytails for locks of love, and then proceeded to give me an ultra-short do. On the 12th day following my first A/C I had her further cut it to a number 8 blade and started wig wearing. No hair had fallen out. On the 14th day, my scalp was tingling and I showered knowing it was time. All of it came off except the grays!!! I had some great wigs for the transition. The best thing is it does grow back. I hope your treatment goes smoothly and effectively. |
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Lump discovered May 07
Stage IIa, Grade 3 Lumpectomy, SNB, 2/5 nodes + 4 DD A/C, 10/12 Taxol Radiation 28 with 5 boosts BRCA2+ PBM with free TRAM, Salpingo oophorectomy Dec 08 |
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asearcy79
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Joined: Nov 23 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 15 |
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Posted: Jun 17 2009 at 8:48pm |
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about 3 weeks after 1st treatment my hair started coming out in handfuls. Didn't want to wake up with a pillow full of hair, my hubby buzzed it off. he cried....I LAUGHED! Wigs weren't for me so i wore a scarf most of the time b/c it was cold. now i'm sporting the bald head. Hair starting to come back now
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imafighter
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Joined: Jun 16 2009 Status: Offline Points: 2 |
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Posted: Jun 18 2009 at 10:16am |
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I have lost my hair 3 times. I donated 13" to Locks of Love. Then after that it fell out in handfuls. I shaved my head, because like Marie said- it was everywhere! I tried a wig, but I didn't feel like myself. I wear hats. They are very fashionable and fun! I don't mind being bald as I am doing my duty and saving the planet from all the hair products that I used to use. Hair will grow back
Im a fighter
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nell
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Joined: Apr 18 2009 Location: Palm Harbor, Florida Status: Offline Points: 8 |
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Posted: Jun 18 2009 at 2:32pm |
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So shave it is, thanks so much. I am not scared of the temporary loss of hair, I am more scared about having to talk about it or have others look at you sadly, I am very uncomfortable with too much attention.
My other fear is my birdies, I have two parrots and it would break my heart if they were scared of me without hair
 . I dont want to celebrate my hair loss but I love to laugh so much, I want to make it lighted hearted. I like the idea of doing a photo or video of the affair, maybe with my birdies present so they see it happening and associate laughter with it. I think I might even make a video of me doing Sinnaid O'Conner on kareoke
By the way if any one needs a pick me up of laughter, go see the movie Hangover it is non stop funny, the whole theater laughs out loud.
Are wigs really hot and itchy? I am going through menopause at age 45 since they stopped my estrogen so I am looking foward to taking a cold cloth and sitting it on top of my head during a hot flash.
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nell
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Joined: Apr 18 2009 Location: Palm Harbor, Florida Status: Offline Points: 8 |
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Posted: Jun 18 2009 at 2:33pm |
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Why did you loose your hair 3 times. that had to be tougher I am sure.
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NINASUZIE
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Joined: Mar 01 2009 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 323 |
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Posted: Jun 18 2009 at 3:15pm |
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Nell,
I'm with you! I go to alot of community outdoor summer events and I had to be comfortable with "how was I gonna do bald"? So, I took time to myself after I had gotten some nice scarfs, hats, caps, a nice wig similiar to my hair style/color and fake bangs! I do like my hair and I don't want to have to explain vs talk about it when/how I want to!
I talked to friends who went through the chemo scalp changes and decided to go bald before that happened so my already sensitive scalp wouldn't be hurt more!
I did do it this way too so that I was energetic and adjusting to "one thing at a time". So before the chemo hit me...good decision for me.
I kept some nice pre photos so I'd know my hair style and skin before chemo to see what to change or keep in the future...
You are wonderful in this-you have a wonderful spirit!!!!!! It will keep you during this time of treatment and for your babies, too! Hugs,
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Suzie
************** Dx: 1/09 Metaplastic TN IDC/3.5CM/DCIS/1.0;4/09 L mastectomy;6-11/09 Cytoxan/Taxotere X6;BRACA-; Recurrance 11/10 bone mets broke arm;Lung mets;rads X15; chemo/parp tbd 1/11 |
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asearcy79
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Joined: Nov 23 2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 15 |
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Posted: Jun 18 2009 at 6:43pm |
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I have a 6 yr old and a 2 yr old both boys. The 6 yr old didn't really care but I had the 2 yr old in the bathroom when i shaved it...i didn't want to go in with hair and come out with none....he laughed along with me!
Also, I work at a primary school of about 700 kids from k-2nd grade. I had to talk to them about it ALL the time. But they got used to it and so did i....sometimes it helps to talk. I've also had people come up to me in Wal-Mart and say "oh do you have cancer" and just to make it funny I say "NO WHY DO YOU ASK" (because I really don't anymore if you think about it) Another funny thing i've done is someone said "oh my what happened to your hair" I reached up and grabbed my head and said "OH NO IT'S GONE" Buy my favorite is when I took my boys to get a hair cut and on my way out the door a man is coming in. When I got one of those awkward stares I said "You'd better RUN i only came in for a trim" and kept walking Some say I have a crazy since of humor...but that's what helps me get through the day. if you can't laugh at yourself, you can't laugh at anything. |
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musette green
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Joined: May 29 2009 Location: So.Ca Status: Offline Points: 82 |
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Posted: Jun 18 2009 at 8:56pm |
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I found shaving my hair off to be a very powerful moment for me. I felt like I had taken back a little bit of control over my life. I also didn't like that constant feeling of having tiny hairs in my eyes. I didn't like the way I looked at first, but now I love it and I'm considering leaving my hair very short now that it is growing back. My previously gray hairs are now stark white. My reddish brown hair is black so now I have this really cool salt and pepper mix. I'm loving it. I even went out and purchased about 10 pairs of new earring to compliment/accent the new hair.
 Lisa |
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DX 10/08. IIB,gr 3, 2.5cm. TNBC, BRAC1&2-, nodes+(left axillary, supraclavicular, ant. mediastinal & IM). Neoadjuv. chemo 4x C/T. Left mast.3/09,completed 40 rads 9/09. Reconstruction pending.
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kavi
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Joined: Jun 18 2009 Location: U.S Status: Offline Points: 5 |
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Posted: Jun 18 2009 at 10:44pm |
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My stylist first cut two 12 inch ponytails for locks of love, and then
proceeded to give me an ultra-short do. On the 12th day following my
first A/C I had her further cut it to a number 8 blade and started wig
wearing. No hair had fallen out. On the 14th day, my scalp was
tingling and I showered knowing it was time. All of it came off except
the grays!!! I had some great wigs for the transition. The best thing
is it does grow back. I hope your treatment goes smoothly and
effectively.
brca1 mutation hereditary breast cancer |
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NINASUZIE
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Joined: Mar 01 2009 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 323 |
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Posted: Jun 19 2009 at 5:56am |
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AW Amy,
YOU are my HERO!!!!!!
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Suzie
************** Dx: 1/09 Metaplastic TN IDC/3.5CM/DCIS/1.0;4/09 L mastectomy;6-11/09 Cytoxan/Taxotere X6;BRACA-; Recurrance 11/10 bone mets broke arm;Lung mets;rads X15; chemo/parp tbd 1/11 |
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HappyGoLucky
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Joined: Apr 22 2009 Location: New Jersey Status: Offline Points: 454 |
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Posted: Jun 19 2009 at 5:58am |
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Since I have sporting very short cropped hair for years now, I looked forward to getting rid of it but waited a little longer and head hurt and hair got matted actually, it was outgrown so I buzzed it off . I love short hair now thatI 59 and its very empowereing to be comfortable with your look.
In 1996 I traveled all over Europe and Mediterraen couintries w/ no worries bout washing and blow drying my locks!!! I am a blonde and a little bit punk I guess hahah
good luck
to all
karen
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SagePatientAdvocates
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Joined: Apr 15 2009 Status: Offline Points: 4748 |
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Posted: Jun 19 2009 at 11:35am |
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Dear Nell,
my daughter had absolutely beautiful, luxurious hair...doc told her she would lose it all and it was suggested to her that she get a wig. She was also advised to have her hair shaved off and then get measured for the wig because it would "fit better." I went with her to the hair stylist..really nice guy...and when he did that first cut with his electric razor I felt a little piece of my heart die..I looked at my daughter in the mirror and she was very upset but she had a certain grace to her... She got a wig..a very expensive one and found that because of her chemo-induced menopause she suffered from terrible hotel flashes and that combined with New York in August made her extremely uncomfortable. Then I got her a book she liked...Bald women, including some celebrities, choosing to go bald. I think it is an absolutely beautiful book. The beauty, character and grace of these women shine through.. "Turning Heads: Portraits of Grace, Inspiration, and Possibilities" (Paperback) by Jackson Hunsicker (Author, Editor) 4.9 out of 5 stars See all reviews (29 customer reviews) I told her that I though she was beautiful without hair and suggested she not wear her wig...if she was uncomfortable going out she wore a scarf but as soon as I took her home off came the scarf..she was hot in the scarf too.. Of course, it is a very personal decision... I guess it took about 9 months for her hair to come back...It is still beautiful but very curly and very grey...and my daughter is still beautiful and if the poison they put in her body has saved her life the side effect of no hair, for awhile, was worth it. Nell, wishing you good luck all the best, Steve p.s. the wig was given to another woman, just last week, at my daughter's school who is about to start chemo. Edited by steve - Jun 19 2009 at 2:49pm |
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I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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HappyGoLucky
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Joined: Apr 22 2009 Location: New Jersey Status: Offline Points: 454 |
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Posted: Jun 19 2009 at 1:12pm |
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Steve you are a great dad. Happy Fathers Day to you.
 Edited by HappyGoLucky - Jun 20 2009 at 10:01am |
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Cheryl51
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Joined: Dec 31 2007 Location: El Cerrito, CA Status: Offline Points: 314 |
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Posted: Jun 19 2009 at 6:51pm |
 I went bald for the world to see. Used to have long,curly hair. Now my hair is short, straight and spikey...
Cheryl
ps. Having eyebrows and eyelashes really does improve my look
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Diagnosed 3/07, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/10 nodes positive
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dmwolf
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Joined: Jan 22 2009 Location: Berkeley, CA Status: Offline Points: 3619 |
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Posted: Jun 20 2009 at 1:57pm |
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I like the specification of '(head)' in the topic. Imagine if instead we were discussing elaborate shaving schemes 'down there'. People's initials, lightning bolts, flowers, cute sayings. :)
-Denise |
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DX 2/08@43 stg II IDC; gr2,0 nodes. Neoadj chemo, first ACx2 (fail) then CarboTaxotereX6(better). Lump, Rads done 11/08; Clodronate. False alarm queen: PetCT lung & TM marker. NED. PBM w/recon 9/10.
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mefowler
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Joined: Apr 29 2009 Location: Topeka, Kansas Status: Offline Points: 115 |
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Posted: Jun 20 2009 at 7:05pm |
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Dear Denise,
Your post made my day. It reminded me of the story of the girl who came into the hospital and needed an emergency appendectomy. She had green pubic hair and a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." When she woke up from the surgery she found a note that read, "Sorry, we had to mow."
Maire
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53 yo, dx'd 11/08 at 51, 2.9 cm IDC, node-neg, neoadj chemotx with Taxotere/carboplatin q3wks x 6, lumpectomy 4/09, path showed pCR, margin reexcision 5/09, rad'n 6-8/09, intermittent Tarceva, dc'd
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dmwolf
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Joined: Jan 22 2009 Location: Berkeley, CA Status: Offline Points: 3619 |
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Posted: Jun 21 2009 at 3:29pm |
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Maire, that is hilarious!
-Denise |
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DX 2/08@43 stg II IDC; gr2,0 nodes. Neoadj chemo, first ACx2 (fail) then CarboTaxotereX6(better). Lump, Rads done 11/08; Clodronate. False alarm queen: PetCT lung & TM marker. NED. PBM w/recon 9/10.
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