26 months later...it's back

Ok, so I'm the new kid.  I'm out of lurking and here's my first post.  I just found out last Thursday that my cancer is back and my CT scan shows that I have a 1.9 x 3.2 cm tumor with two lymph nodes involved in upper lobe of my left lung.  I'm scheduled for a biopsy on Monday.  For some strange reason the doctor ordered a CT scan of my chest and abdomen, as well as a bone scan, but didn't order a head CT scan.  I'm hoping that the fact that there was only the one spot on my lung is a good thing.  I'm searching high and low for some sort of hope I can hold on to. 

I am a single parent with two teenaged daughters at home.  My oldest is 17 and a senior and my youngest is 16 and a sophmore.  I also have at son that is 28 and he and his wife are expecting their first child (and my first grandchild) in April. 

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer back in November of 2006, I really didn't know anything about triple negative breast cancer.  I focused so much on just getting through chemo that I didn't do much research into the type of cancer I had and the increased chance of recurrence.  I just didn't allow my head to go "there".  Now I've immersed myself in so much information that my head is spinning.  I vacillate between hope and despair and keep telling myself that even if I only have a 2% chance of living 10 more years I just need to focus on that.  My biggest fear is leaving my kids without a mom.  My extended family lives in another state and I'm all they have (and vice versa!)

Understandably, I'm scared, confused and overwhelmed yet also determined, and thankful.  Thankful to be alive right now and, strangely enough, actually feeling healthier and stronger than I have felt in several years.  Which, is a good thing, because I know I have a hell of a fight on my hands. 

So, with the help of all you fine ladies, I will face this fight with as much pluck, grace, hope and strength I can muster. 

I don't want to have to face this but I'm glad that I won't be doing it alone. 

Beth


Edited by BornInWA - Feb 18 2009 at 9:25pm

It's that voice of reason that I need to hear and that's why this place is such a godsend.  The voices here are coming from a place of knowledge and experience.  They've walked the walk and can truly empathize with you. 

Thank you so much Caryn for your response.  It means more than you know.

Hugs back,

Beth

Beth,
do you still live in WA?

this disease is scary and being afraid is part of the package.  i know women who have dealt with breast cancer and feel that they are cured and don't think about it.  those women are all er positive with grade 1 or 2 cancer.  TNBC is a different animal.

the chemo drugs that have been developed have helped us to live longer.  i will be thinking of you on monday.

Hey Beth,
I hope I can be an encouragement to you. I was diagnosed originally in june 06, finished chemo jan 07 Scans I was NED in April O7. Scans in April 08 showed lung mets. Had 4 rounds carbo, taxol and avastin every 3 weeks with Zometa  once  every 6mos. The chemo was very effective in shrinking the tumor. Then I had wedge resections to remove tumor bed, followed by 4 more of same chemo. Now I will be taking just avastin every 3 weeks indefinitely, which is fine by me.....I had scans this past monday, including ct of chest/abdomen, bone scan and brain MRI. Thankfully I am NED again. Hoping the avastin really works till they can come up with something better. Hang in there...There are new treatments coming out all the time. I have 3 teen boys and a 4 year old daughter, So that complicates everything but it also gives me reason to fight, fight, fight! You can PM me if you want to talk...christi


Edited by kidzrn - Feb 20 2009 at 1:12pm

Hi Beth,

Hi Brenda,

I already had taxotere with my initial chemo.  Would they give it to me again?  I thought that if you had a certain type of chemo previously they don't repeat.

OK, one more time.

Successful teatment in Lung has used a GEMCARBO pack by Eli Lilly.

I wasn't happy with my old onc so I got a new one.  My new oncologist specializes in breast cancer.  I had my medi port put back in this past Thursday and I have a PET/CT scan scheduled for this coming Tuesday along with a MRI of my brain.  My old oncologist said that my insurance company would not pay for a PET/CT but my new oncologist didn't have any problems at all getting them to pay for it.  I'm scheduled to start chemo next Thursday and I'm supposed to be starting out with Avastin, Carboplatin and Ixempra every three weeks X 6.  No mention of any radiation or anything like that yet.  I know there was a concern that where the tumor is in my mediastinum is within the area that was radiated after my mastectomy and chemo the first time around.  I'll be seeing her on Thursday so I'll have the results of my PET/CT then.  I hope that I don't have any metastasis in other places.

Beth

Beth,