Hi Yellowjacket,
I am so very sorry to hear about your wife's recurrence. I personally had the gemzar/carbo combo and found it very tolerable, as well as effective, but I was not dealing with a recurrence. I know there are many others on this site who have had the same combo; one in particular comes to mind - Snickers - who had extensive mets to the liver, and is now in remission (NED). Hopefully she will see your post and respond!
Best Wishes,
Lisa