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Newbie and unhappy

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Tulips View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Tulips Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 18 2016 at 4:34pm
Romnessprite, that's good advice to check in with your nurse if you have any concerns, but I want to let you know that I did have my levels go well below that (and, unfortunately, 4 of my Taxols had to be postponed, so it took 16 weeks to get the 12 treatments), and I never, ever got sick/an infection.  AND I was stupid and careless--hugging and kissing everyone like crazy, not shying away from crowded places, flying on airplanes, etc, and even with my really low blood counts, I never got a fever.  I'm NOT recommending that you not be vigilant, I'm just hoping to assuage your fears that low blood counts do not automatically end up in illness.  But by all means, follow all doctor's orders and ask your nurse, etc.

MiniG,
Yes, this is tough stuff!  And with the BIG worries, I almost felt silly being upset about my hair, but really that does feel like a big deal.  So I can relate!  I also had long, blonde hair (well, a little help with the color, ha ha ha) that was a big part of my identity.  Now my hair is one inch and a funny texture, and I'm not happy!  In fact, it's bothering me more now that I'm (maybe temporarily) done with chemo, because it is really dawning on me how long it will take to grow long again (I think during chemo, I was so involved in the "fight" that I didn't allow myself to get too caught up about the hair).  I did splurge on a great real-hair wig, too, that was cut & dyed to match my own hair, and I'm not kidding, people cannot tell.  I justified the expense by realizing I wouldn't be going to the hairstylist for cuts/color for a looooong time…...That doesn't mean I like wearing a wig, but I know for sure that it looks legit.  And on the bright side, I don't have to blow-dry my hair everyday ;-).  Plus, we laugh because I look a lot like my dad right now (he passed away last year at age 80).  He always had a crewcut--his whole life.  And it was a flattop thing….and now with my hair finally starting to grow, I have this weird cowlick in the front, so there is a similar shelf-like feature to my buzz cut, and it looks just like my dad.  I think it's hysterical.  Although I can't wait for long hair again!  If you google "chemo hair growth" or similar, there are some encouraging photo essays that people have posted of their re-growth.

Anyway, hugs to everyone going through emotional times!

Tulips
Dx April 2015 IDC TN 2.2 cm, Grade 3, Chemo started May 2015: Taxol/Carbo then AC, Lx with SNB Nov 2015, 33 Rad Dec 2015-Feb 2016. 6 months Capecitabine starting March 2016
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jacklin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 18 2016 at 10:21pm
When I have those moments of sadness, I allow myself to feel those feelings, cry if I need to but then I take those sad thoughts captive and focus on the all the positive things that are happening - there is medicine to attack the cancer cells, someone was able to use my naturally blonde hair to make a wig for someone who needed it more than I did, I have a wonderful family who loves me, God loves me more than anyone else, I live in a free country, my mother-in-law has to live with the pain of arthritis every day and this pain I have now is going to go away soon, etc. When I focus my thoughts on the positives (and each of us has positives somewhere in our lives, we need to look for them), I can have a better focus going forward. As Susanb stated above, she felt bad until she was the woman at the bus stop in a wheelchair. 

We have much to be thankful for, don't we?


Dx: Nov. 27/15, TNBC, left breast & lymph, BRCA -; Chemo: Dec 4/15 - Mar 4/16; 4 DD A/C, 3 DD Taxol; BMX/ALND: April 26/16; Stage 3C; Radiation: June 10-July 15/16; 1 cycle Xeloda: Aug 15 - 28/16
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2016 at 1:40am
Can anyone comment on how this cancer journey effects our kids. My daughter is 18 and she has become extremely wild since my diagnosis. She we have been very honest with her about everything that is happening to me and npw Im wandering if maybe itwas too much fo her to handle. My son is 22 and seems ok with it now but he avoided being at home with me at first and didnt tell his friends for a long time. Now he jokes with me about it and seems happy.
How do you decide how much to tell kids?
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Jacklin View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jacklin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2016 at 8:11am
Hi Romnessprite1,

I find that honesty is the best policy with our 4 children, who range in age from 23 - 32. What we did was answered their questions at first rather than tell them everything because each child is different and some can handle more information at once than others (we have one child who is squeamish about anything medical, while another child is a nurse and wants all the medical info). Your daughter is 18, legally an adult but that doesn't mean her brain and actions will be adult-like, so you're right, what you shared with her may have been too much for her to handle. All you can do is keep the communication lines open with her, perhaps let her take the lead in questioning rather than supplying information to her each time? Is there an adult role model who could come alongside her and check in with her regularly? What about your son, could you ask him if he's had a conversation with his sister about how she's doing with everything? Does she have a strong relationship with your husband? 

There's no easy answer when we are dealing with cancer and everyone needs time to process what they've been told. Hope that things will calm down for her soon. 

Blessings,
Dx: Nov. 27/15, TNBC, left breast & lymph, BRCA -; Chemo: Dec 4/15 - Mar 4/16; 4 DD A/C, 3 DD Taxol; BMX/ALND: April 26/16; Stage 3C; Radiation: June 10-July 15/16; 1 cycle Xeloda: Aug 15 - 28/16
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Minigerkin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2016 at 11:37am
Hi Romnessprite1 - I have 3 kids and I've been honest with them. What everyone on this chat doesn't know my husband was diagnosed with stage 2 colon cancer and we are both going through chemo together.  My boys don't seem too affected, although I must admit, I get more hugs and kisses now. :-) But my daughter, who is my oldest, has been hit hard.  She remembers when her grandmother (my mom) had breast cancer, and now that it has chosen me, well, she is literally our God sent.  She requested a FMLA from her employer and was approved.  She helps out with house chores and drives us to appointments.  She cries with me and she laughs with me.    I recommend being totally honest with your kids.  They will understand.  2015 was not our best year, but it has brought us closer as a family.
Minigerkin
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2016 at 2:40pm
Thank you both for your respnses. I just keep hoping and praying for her. She does talk to my son and Im glad for that. Its just so hard to watch her going down a path that cpuld deztroy her life and she wont take our advice. She refuses to go to counseling. There is nothing we can do except tell her we love her and we are here for her. I feel so helpless. This hurts so much more than my cancer.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Jacklin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2016 at 3:23pm
You are so right, that hurts immensely. All you can do is continue to tell her how much you love her and pray, pray, pray. Could you let your son know your concerns as well? He might be able to help your daughter as well.  Does your daughter have a rock-solid, good friend that could also keep an eye on her? I'll be praying for you all. Much strength for each day.
Dx: Nov. 27/15, TNBC, left breast & lymph, BRCA -; Chemo: Dec 4/15 - Mar 4/16; 4 DD A/C, 3 DD Taxol; BMX/ALND: April 26/16; Stage 3C; Radiation: June 10-July 15/16; 1 cycle Xeloda: Aug 15 - 28/16
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Minigerkin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2016 at 4:33pm
Romnessprite1 - stay strong.  Your daughter is acting out because she is stressing/worried/freaking, etc. over you. I will you and your daughter in my prayers.
Minigerkin
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Feb 23 2016 at 5:22pm
Im so thankful for ypur prayers. Im glad for this place to share my burdens. Im praying for all of you too. I know God answers prayera and during trials like this He is right here with me giving me strength to get through each day. He has takene through many trials in my life and I trust Him. Like job said though He slay me yet will I trust Him. And Peter said Lord where else can we go you can give us eternal life.
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