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My Ashley Is An Angel

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Bonnie View Drop Down
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    Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 6:27am
Dear Friends:  My beautiful, brave, courageous Ashley is now an angel.  At 5:15 am Saturday morning, January 29th, Heaven got a lot brighter.  She passed with her loving family surrounding her, all telling her how much they love her and how special she is to us.  So hard to believe that she is gone, but she fought the good fight.  Please continue to pray for our family as we cope with our loss.  I walk through our house and it's just so empty.  Ashley was a presence her entire life.  She had the most beautiful smile and laugh; always joking, right up to the very end.  We all miss her so much. 
Love,
Bonnie
Bonnie - Daughter Ashley dx TN 8/09 @ 22; St3, BRCA1/2-; AC&Ixempra done 2/10; mets to lung 3/10; G/C 3/10; PARP 6/10; sternum mets 9/10; NK012 failed; mets to liver, spine, kidney; Avastin/Xeloda
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123Donna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 123Donna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 7:22am
Oh Bonnie,  My heart is breaking right now for you and your family.  Tears are flowing freely at the loss of this beautiful young woman.  No words can offer you comfort right now.  Your TNBCF family is here for you.  Ashley is an angel in heaven now where she will suffer no more from this terrible disease.  May her memories live on with you and your family.

Love and Hugs,

Donna
DX IDC TNBC 6/09 age 49, Stage 1,Grade 3, 1.5cm,0/5Nodes,KI-67 48%,BRCA-,6/09bi-mx, recon, T/C X4(9/09)
11/10 Recur IM node, Gem,Carb,Iniparib 12/10,MRI NED 2/11,IMRT Radsx40,CT NED11/13,MRI NED3/15

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outnumbered View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote outnumbered Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 7:27am
I am so sorry for your loss.  I will continue to pray for you and your family.
 
HUGS
~Sara

DX @ age 40 6/24/08 Stage 1 Grade 3 BRCA1+ 187delAG

BMX (nipple-areola-sparing) 8/5/08

Redo BMX (remove nipple and areola) w/ Lat Flap 7/6/09

BSO 9/3/09

NED since 08/05/2008
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TNBC_in_NS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TNBC_in_NS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 8:29am
Bonnie:
 
I am speechless right now.  It puzzles me how a vibrant young woman can suffer and be gone so soon...Your daughter was such a blessing to you and the family and her strength was a reflection of the love you all have for her.  I am so glad you were all there with Ashley...she is forever in your hearts and I feel honoured to be a small part of her life and journey.
 
A Mother's love is so deep and the love that our heavenly Father has for us is so much more. So know Ashley is in good hands now.  My sincere sorrow for your loss.
Hugs,
Helen in NS
 
PS: Bonnie a friend sent this site to me and I want to share it with you.  Read it when you are ready... Bless you dear Mother from another Mother...
 


Edited by TNBC_in_NS - Jan 31 2011 at 9:24am
Diag@57TNBC04/092.5cm Lquad 05/09 TCx4Radsx30CT03/01/10 FU03/31/10ClearBRCA- 01/2011 RTNBC BMX 06/14/2011~2013 clear
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Genie View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Genie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 8:47am
Bonnie,
There are not words adequate enough to express the sorrow you are experiencing in the loss of your precious daughter. My heart & prayers go out to you & your family. May God give you comfort & peace.
Hugs,
Genie
DX 3/10/08 at age 67, IDC. Stage 1, Grade 3, 1.5 cm.
KI-67 99% at MX . Bilateral mastectomy 4/1/08 Node-, BRCA 1/2-,BARD1+, TX:Cytoxan/Taxotere x4,3 in family with TNBC
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SagePatientAdvocates Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 8:48am
Dear Bonnie,

I can’t find the words to properly say what is in my heart...

Although I never met Ashley I felt that I knew her through you and she was an extraordinary woman.

My prayers continue for you and your family.

If you would like to speak again, please call me...I will call you in about ten days if I don’t hear from you. Please send me an email and let me know that that would be o.k. I don’t want to infringe.

with my love,

Steve
I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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Donna Zukowski View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Donna Zukowski Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 9:37am
Bonnie and family: I cannot imagine how difficult this loss is. Know that heartfelt prayers go out to all of you. 
luv donna
Donna, TNBC Dx Mar09,stage 2a,1.7cm 1 pos out of 29, taxolX12,FACX4,segmental mastec&axilla node dissection sept 10/09,Rads start Oct,live in Canada,Tx MDAnderson
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TracyAMac Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 9:42am
Dear Bonnie

My heart goes out to you and your family at this time

It is an exceptionally bright and sunny winter day today here in Canada - my sense is that Ashley is shining down on all of us and sending warm love to you and your family.

Tracy in Toronto
TN&non-TN tumors April/10 Gr3&2;1 metaplastic
Rmast.1/9 nodes w/isolated t.cells
Taxotere&Cytoxan x6
Bone cancer 1980 age17;surgery&chemo AC+Methotrexate
BRCA-ve
On hormone therapy & Metformin Trial
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hhhh View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hhhh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 9:56am
My deepest, deepest condolences for your immense loss Bonnie. I am so sad today.
Daughter of one of the most amazing women in the world...

she was diagnosed 8/2010, had lumpectomy, TAC X 6, rads.

52 yrs, stage 2A (3cm, no nodes), triple neg, grade 3
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sue View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sue Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 10:01am
Bonnie,

So sorry for your loss.  I do believe your angel Ashley is glowing brightly above all of us.  

Please know you are surrounded by love here and always will be. 

My prayers go out to you and your family.

Hugs,

Sue
Dx 7/10, age 53. TNBC left breast, stage I, grade 3, IDC 0.5 cm, DCI 2.5 cm, 0/8 lymph nodes neg. BRCA-. T/C x4 finished 2/09/11, rads x34 finished 4/21/11.          
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zoomommy2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 11:15am
Bonnie,
I weep as a mother at your loss of your beloved Ashley.  I just don't understand how so young a person can have this disease and be gone so quickly despite all the treatment.  She was greeted by so many others taken by this disease we all hate so much.  Praying that peace and comfort will be yours.
Lee in Denver
dx6/09,stageII,gr3,(L)mastectomy 7/09,ACx4,Taxolx7,Avastin study,gall bladder surgery 1/10,4/11 Stage 4, mets to lung, 4/11 Started Taxotere and Xeloda, 5/11 Taxotere stopped, off Xeloda
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Debris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 12:11pm
Dear Bonnie, my tears mingle with yours.  I was so sad to read this, but hope you can find comfort that Ashley suffers no more.
 
May God Bless you and your family, and give you courage and comfort in the time ahead.
 
Deborah.
4/12 Xeloda/Tykerb
2 Carboplatin
12/11 Dx IA
9 Gemzar/Taxotere Dx IBC:FEC
5 Ixempra/Sprycel
2 25 Rad
10/10 BRCA1-/2suv
9 NED
6 Stg4 Grd3 many nodes no Sx/Rad. Taxol/Avastin
06/08 Dx DCIS 0/SN Rads/AIs
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kara Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 12:52pm
Dear Bonnie:
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  I am sending you and all of Ashley's family and friends tons of positive light and strength through prayer.  God Bless, Kara
dx 5/10 TN, age 56, Stage 2, 3cm tumor, Bi-lateral Mastectomy 6/10,4 Lymph nodes involved,two infections, Taxol/Cytoxin 12 weekly sessons finished chemo 1/19/11.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dmwolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 1:34pm
Bonnie,
I am so sad, so very sad and troubled and overwhelmed with the unfairness of your darling Ashley being swept off the planet like this right when her life was just beginning.  I can imagine how empty your house must feel without her in it.   I can imagine the pain and bewilderment you feel when you imagine your life without her, all the times in the future that she won't be there.   The holidays, graduations, wedding, grandchildren - all the things we parents look forward to in our lives with our children.  I wish for you the tenderest of love as you grieve.    This pain will never go away, nor would you want it to, but it will change with the years.   We are here for you now, as we have been all along, and bear witness to what you have endured and will continue to endure. 

Much love,
Denise
DX 2/08@43 stg II IDC; gr2,0 nodes. Neoadj chemo, first ACx2 (fail) then CarboTaxotereX6(better). Lump, Rads done 11/08; Clodronate. False alarm queen: PetCT lung & TM marker. NED. PBM w/recon 9/10.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SagePatientAdvocates Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 1:57pm
For Bonnie

At times, things happen that make no sense
This is one of those times
At times, a beautiful young woman is taken from her family 
This is one of those times
I am weeping as a type as I do at times
This is one of those times
Is this the time for you to be surrounded by love?
This is one of those times

will Ashley always be in your heart?
yes, always...
will you and Ashley always be in ours?
yes, always...
can you always come here and find love?
yes, always...
will we always love you?
yes, always...

I am a very inept poet, Bonnie...as you know from the past...but my heart is pure in my thoughts today and the love and positive vibrations I am sending you and your loved ones. I can tell you that 46 years after I lost my dear mother, it still hurts...at times with a profoundly difficult intensity but, overwhelmingly, I try to focus on the joys in my life and there are many...but, as Denise wrote beautifully above, I do not want that part of my memory bank erased, even with the loss I still feel. My mother remains present in my life on a daily basis and Ashley will be in yours as well...Please grieve and know it may be a very lengthy process but that is o.k. And please know we are here for you...always...

with my love,

Steve


I am a BRCA1+ grandson, son and father of women affected by breast/oc-my daughter inherited mutation from me, and at 36, was dx 2004 TNBC I am a volunteer patient advocate with SAGE Patient Advocates
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tnbcsucks Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 2:19pm
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers!
TNBC DX April, 2010,Lumpectomy May 3.5cm with clear nodes,Stage 2, Grade III Started Chemo on June 7: 4 A/C every other week and then 12 weeks of Taxol. followed by 6 weeks of radiation.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jwatrlily Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 2:38pm
Dear Bonnie,
 
I am so sorry your beautiful Ashley passed from this dreaded illness.  My heat goes out to you and your family as does my prayers, for God to give you all strength, peace and a real knowing she is with Him and well and whole again.  It is just so tragic for anyone but most of all for someone so young as your beautiful Angel, Ashley.  Please know that all of us care and hold you up in love and prayer as you cope with your heartache.
 
Love,
Juanita
Diag. June 4, 2010 IDC Stage 1, Grade 3, Node 0/2 TNBC. Lumpectomy 8/9/2010 Started chemo 9/16/2010 AC x 4 every 2 weeks, Taxol x 12 weekly, 33 rads, finished 4/15/11. NED as of Sept 3, 2013
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LRM216 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 3:02pm
Bonnie:
 
There are just no words.  God bless you all.  Know that forevermore - the sky above us will now have a bright and beautiful new star shining down upon all of us.  May all of the memories you share with Ashley hold you strong and give you peace - until you meet again.
 
Love,
Linda  
Linda - diagnosed at age 62
Diag 2/23/09 IDC 1.2 cent. IDC right breast,Stage 1, Grade 3,0/1 nodes - Triple Neg
4 DD AC every two weeks, 1 Dd Taxol, then 3 Taxotere every three weeks - rads x 33
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Belle_Laide Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 6:14pm
Bonnie, So very, very sorry for your loss. Words fail. It's all so senseless. What shines through is your love and devotion and Ashley's bright spirit and life force. With you, kiddo.
Did everything right; got screwed anyway. BRCA Negative.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abcmom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Jan 31 2011 at 7:22pm
Bonnie-  So very sorry to hear about Ashley.  You are in my prayers and hope you can find some comfort that she is no longer in pain.  She in our wonderful heaven and as you said heaven is shining a little brighter!  We are here for you.
 
All my love and prayers,
 
Keri
Diag 11/06/09 @ 40; Diag w/ TNBC Stage IIA, Grade 3 12/01/09 Node Neg. Dble MX with Recon 12/09 (twice)
Chemo 1/13/10 Chemo done 4/22/10 More recon surg 07/10, PET/CT Scan clear 07/10 NED 07/11
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