Hi Gramma Sue,
I think we have a bit in common. I'm also one of those people that gets described as strong and stoic and able to handle everything. Most of the time this is true but when I lost my hair I found it really upsetting. It was as if the cancer somehow became much more real. It also seemed so unfair! I'd had to deal with the awful shock of feeling perfectly fine and having four tumours, and now this!!!
My advice is to be sad. Cry about it. Make room for the sadness. My daughter taught me this valuable skill when she was only little. I was trying to jolly her along, much like your husband jollies you along (and much like the way I usually try to cheer myself up) and she turned to me and said, "Mummy, I know you're trying to help, but I really just need to let the sadness out." So when my hair fell out I had a good cry.
Then I went shopping for a really great hat. I found one in a shop that sells hippie type clothing. It was a kind of patchwork fabric hat with a narrow padded brim. It looked really good on me and immediately made me feel more confident. I never wore head scarves because they were hot and itchy but I lived in that hat.
I also got a wig from a wig library that offered hair dressers to fit and shape the wig. This makes a huge difference to how good a wig looks on your head. I didn't wear the wig very much either but when I did, people that hadn't seen me for a while mistakenly thought my hair had grown back. Good looking wigs don't look like wigs.
My hair is back now and it's much nicer than it ever was before it fell out. It's thicker and has come through with all kinds of great looking highlights. I often get asked where I get it coloured!
I know you posted this message back in February but I hope I'm not too late to be of some help.
Love and gently hugs