Dear Mike,
Thank you for sharing Diane's obituary with us.
I believe I met her 'virtually' shortly after her original diagnosis. Over the years, she would meet with Dr. Cristofanilli on one of his clinic days and as I had introduced other women with IBC/TNBC to him would try, at her request, to see if they could say hi to each other.
This introduction served two purposes. It would enable the women, many of whom came from other States, to see a friendly face away from home, compare notes and most importantly be exposed to Diane's vivacious personality and upbeat nature. I believe, with all my heart, that she truly helped others, importantly, in these personal meetings. Several of the women specifically called me to thank me for introducing them to Diane and described their meeting and how meaningful it was to them. I know, for sure, that she, also, helped many here with her encouraging posts.
It was a testament to who she was as a person that despite her arduous journey she often found time to help others here. Mike, I wanted you to get a 'feel' for how beloved she was here. She will be sorely missed.
Special thoughts for Justin and Ryan. I am so very sorry for your loss. I was 16 when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and she lost her 4 year battle at the age of 46, same as your Mom. She also fought valiantly and still managed to help others during her journey. I know you are devastated by the loss and it will probably remain painful for years to come. I ache for both of you and your Dad. I can tell you that 49 years after my Mother's death in 1964 I still feel her presence in my life and at times, I am still in pain. But her love for me and mine for her continues and shall. I always carry her love and her wisdom in my heart and you can, too. I believe you both will continue to make her proud.
Also, special thoughts to Bill and Liz and please forgive me for writing without knowing you. When my Mother died I went on about a four mile walk with my grandfather. We walked in silence for most of the walk. He was not a very talkative or expressive guy. The he pointed to a park bench for us to sit down and he said "I know how you adored your Mom but I want to tell you that I believe the greatest pain known to man is to lose a child and I pray that you never have that experience." Then we got up and walked a bit and he turned to me and said "You can prepare to lose a parent or a grandparent maybe even a spouse or a sibling but losing a child is not in the natural order of things." And then he collapsed in my arms and for the first time that I can remember he wept. He was about 5'1", very slight, and I am 6'3". It was like hugging a child. I still remember kissing the top of his head and gently patting his back. A rare moment of intimacy. I know your pain and Diane's sister's pain is excruciating and I just want to add special condolences to you as well. My heart is with all of you as you grieve.
From time to time, I think of my grandfather's words and I believe he was correct. I have six children and when my eldest daughter was diagnosed with TNBC at the age of 36, I thought I would lose her. Thankfully, she seems to be o.k. but his words, at times, still echo in my head.
Mike, with my warmest wishes to the three of you and all of her/your loved ones,
Steve
p.s. I had to smile at the thought of Diane hosting her book club a few days before she passed. That's Diane, I thought. Quite a lady. I am glad I got to know her, a bit.